A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been single now for 6 months, prior to that I was in a 2 year relationship that drained me of confidence and strength (during which I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety).During these 6 months I've got a new job, a mortgage and even joined the gym, completely turning my life around. I've stayed away from women both sexually and emotionally during this time, resisting temptation to have a rebound and focused soley on me for the first time in years.A few weeks ago whilst doing my food shopping I noticed a girl who works in the store (I think she's a manageress, always dressed in skirt and blouse, very smart!) she's about my age, and the first girl to catch my eye in a while. Since then I've seen her multiple times but never spoken to her, just made slight eye contact and got on with my shopping.I've never been good at talking to random girls, all my past girlfriends have been met through friends or work. I'd love to first introduce myself, find out if she's single, and then maybe try to get to know her a bit more. But no matter how much I try, I can't think of a suitable way to do it without sounding stupid.So, males... How would you introduce yourself to this girl?And females... What we would be the nicest and most comfortable way for a guy to introduce themselves to you?Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): I personally wouldn't worry too much about sounding 'stupid', I mean obviously you can't help but be worried about making the first move, but any decent girl would understand, admire and feel flattered that you've come to introduce yourself. If you're a bit nervous about it let it be so - I don't like it that much when a guy is so confident that he's just like 'well can I have your number?' as if he's thinking *there's NO WAY she's going to refuse ME HO HO HO*....ignore the Santa laugh - I get carried away sometimes.SO, let's get down to business shall we? You say she's most likely a manageress...this is GREAT. It means she's probably good with people so that even if you stumble she'll find it absolutely normal and won't think twice about it. Managers of places like a store are usually quite firm but fair people - if she's single and she likes the look of you she will almost definitely give you a chance.I know this sounds silly, and I also know that it is much easier said than done (BUT STILL POSSIBLE) BUT - just don't think too much about it...plan a little just to make sure you don't come out to her as a complete wacko, but let it come naturally...she'll feel it, she'll know you mean what you say (whatever it is you might come up with). Think of it this way...be fair to you - but also be fair to her. If she's the only woman that has caught your eye in a long while, it's possible that the both of you have already got a connection. This may sound sexist but it IS usually the man that makes the first major move...and maybe she's just waiting for you. Think of this as perhaps not giving YOU the chance to get with her, but giving HER the chance to get with you...but don't get all cocky now XD We hate that.Much luck! Enjoy your shopping ;)Kate the College Girl.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): Thanks lakers lover, and good luck with your romantic quest! I have an idea of how to introduce myself it's just finding the right time, as before Christmas I intend to purchase some flowers from the store she works at for a female colleague who is leaving my work. I can ask her opinion, buy them and then the next day speak to her again by letting her know that my colleague liked them, thus thanking her for her help and see where it goes! The way I see it, I've waited 6 months to find someone that caught my eye, so im well prepared to take this slowly. Thanks again.
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A
male
reader, lakers_lover09  +, writes (14 December 2011):
Ahhh I was jus in ur shoes for three months until yeasterday when I finally talked to the gorgeous girl I had been noticing. First thing is not to put pressure on her. Girls know when they r bein hit on and it sometimes makes them feel uncomfortable if they kno every guy tht wlks up to them judt wnts to ht on them. Engaging conversation is the easiest way my friend. Dnt worry about wat ur gonna say. Tht,comes easy! Let ur mind do tht for u. Its an automatic process if u dnt think (i just learned this thru experience yesterday). U see her often so thats good! U dnt have tht pressure of hVing to get to kno her enough,to asl her out after a short period of convo. Ask her a question like can you tell me where "..." Is? Introduce urself, small talk, leave and continue starting convo with her wenever u see her. Take it slow friend
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2011): Thank you aunt honesty. I've realised in the past 6 months to take things slow and that's exactly what I'll do. I feel the time will cone where I will eventually speak to her but I won't rush it, the more natural the better. Thank you.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 December 2011):
 You need to remember that this girl doesn't know that you exist at the moment. So you need to take it slowly and with care. Instead of just going in and announcing you are single take it slow, as this might scare her off.
If you are in the store, why not ask her a question in regards to the store. Say something like oh have you got any fish, and if so where can I find it in the store. Once she shows you thank her and smile. Ask her has she worked in the store long and introduce yourself and thank her again. Read her body language to see how she responded.
After this well then next time you go in say hello and ask her how her day is going. Little by little just try and talk to her more and more and get to know her a little bit.
Once you feel more comfortable with her well then ask her would she like to meet up for lunch some day or for a drink and take it from there. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, OptimisticArtisit +, writes (13 December 2011):
 Hello,
I was in the same boat, but what I did was, I would try and noticed what he liked, after i did i casually brought it up. It turned out me and him both loved art, so me and him went to a Art Gallery. So my best advice would be, try and se what she likes or likes to do, and casually bring it up in a converstion, show you actually care.
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