A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heya i come on this site a lot and i know this isn't the regular question asked but i thought some of you guys would give me your honest opinion. I just would like some people to read this song i wrote- i've won a couple of lyrics competitions and love song writing. Please just check out my latest one and tell me what you think...thanks XOne minute it’s ok The next it’s changed.Im gunna tell you my secretsAlthough i’m scared of showing whats hidden behind the frameMy shadow,my smileWhat’s behind it is pain.Sometimes i get these feelingsLife is so hard, it’s hard to take. I’m trying to stay strongI know i’m wrong But i can’t continue living this way. Mummy and daddyIt wasn’t the perfect familyThe nights i cried to see it changeBut there was only darkness in the way. The yelling, the screaming, the lies, and gamesIt was hard for a girl at that young age. I tried to stay focusedRemember life is just a gameBut sometimes it's too much for me to takeConfused, trying to cover up my mistakesWanting to be someone else, anything but my self. I feel so drained. Mummy and daddyIt wasn’t the perfect familyThe nights i cried to see it changeBut there was only darkness in the way. The yelling, the screaming, the lies, and gamesIt was hard for a girl at that young age. Now i’m wiser, stronger, less afraidBut i still have those days Sometimes mummy misbehavesOr daddy tells lies againthey will never change. Lead me to do stupid things, ya know misbehaveI wish they could see why i cry is because of their mistakes. Mummy and daddyIt wasn’t the perfect familyThe nights i cried to see it changeBut there was only darkness in the way. The yelling, the screaming, the lies, and gamesIt was hard for a girl at that young age. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): I quite like this, what you've wrote. It is a bit painful to read, but I think it would be wrong for people to just write lyrics about love and dancing!
When I was younger and going through a really low point of my life, I used to listen to groups like Korn and Papa Roach. I'm not trying to compare you to them (just incase you don't like them!), but I'm talking about the content of the lyrics. You know, listening to those kinds of lyrics actually got me through that tough time. I think it can be really helpful for people who feel like they can relate to what is being said. And if it helps you too, even better!
As for the structure and style of your lyrics, I think that there are so many different styles out there, and that there isn't a right or wrong. Not everyone will like your lyrics, but then that is life. Everybody has their own individual likes and dislikes.
Anyway, continue with what you are doing, and good luck! x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): Sorry, dear, but I don't think your lyrics are very original or interesting. It might help you to write down your feelings and get your anger down on paper, but remember if this is something you want to do for a living, you are going to have to take the time and effort to create something, actually CREATE something, that is interesting and that people will actually want to read/listen to.You asked for an honest opinion and that's mine. There are poetry websites etc where you can post this and get more detailed feedback, but I suppose it's good you have found a way to deal and cope with your issues.Good luck.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 Sorry! I'm a big fan of structure and having things put in their right place! durrrrrrrrrrrrr. (:
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (26 June 2009):
 Good one, damluvaam!!
Do you have the music, maybe on YouTube?
These are very, very valid emotions. Maybe a little too angry, but valid emotions.
Eyes was hoping for one week without a "pubes" question... I was hoping for a week without hearing from the "this isn't a relationship question" police. Not trying to be mean bobbles... but it's in the lyrics... a relationship problem.
Yeah, I think it's a good idea to copyright or publish your original lyrics though, so no one can steal them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): Can you imagine how many fewer songs there would be in the world if none of them fed off of pain? I think songs should be a way to get your thoughts and feelings out.. a means of expression, basically. It's good to write about it and not keep it on the inside.
~SY.
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A
female
reader, cherry cherry boom boom  +, writes (26 June 2009):
Well to me I don't think you should write songs that remind you of pain even if it is real I think writing songs should make you feel good. This would be a good song if you want to make some one cry. This ya girl, peace.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): I think that was harsh Bobbles32. The song is obviously about relationships, so in that respect it fits.
I think the lyrics are very honest and many people can relate to them...isn't that what it's all about? Reaching out and touching someone?
Having said that, I think it needs some work on cohesiveness. It reads like you just wrote down what you where thinking and didn't go back over to put some order to your thoughts...in other words...the thoughts are jumbled, it needs some order. The premise however, is very good.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): Yes, maybe not the site, but the quesitons here so what will it hurt to give our opinions?
I like your lyrics..
Are you blaming your parents for your misbehaving though? Because you know, your actions, your choice.
But they are very good.
Very well done.
~SY.
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A
female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (26 June 2009):
As good as your lyrics are, you can't tell me that you didn't have to click on this "Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help! " to put this question in here..
I'm not sure this is the site you're looking for.
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