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female
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anonymous
writes: This is a bit of a silly question, I'm embarrassed to ask but I really want to know. I'm a 23 yr old virgin, recently started seeing a guy I'm crazy about and ready to sleep with, and wondering how to tell him about my lack of 'bedroom experience.' Is that the kind of thing a guy would like to hear? He's a very understanding guy, but I was told by a friend not to tell him because it would put enormous pressure on him and make him feel awkward because he'd have to 'teach me' in bed. I don't want to put pressure on him or make him feel awkward at all. I'd like mens point of view as well - if there are any guys who read this can you tell me how you'd feel if the woman you're seeing tells you she's a virgin? Thanx, much appreciated. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): I think your friend is wrong. What a bad view she has about sex.
Of course you shoul tell this guy about your virginity!
I can imagine your first sexual experience being VERY uncomfortable if not!
Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): He'll be able to tell anyway, so I would just tell him. Chances are he'll find that a real turn on.
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (13 June 2006):
 As much as I would like to say go on and tell him the truth, I have to partially agree with what your friend has told you as well. What Im about to say speaks only for myself and what my experiences were. I was recently involved in a 'relationship' whereby the girl was a virgin of 24 yrs old. I knew the fact that she was a virgin because she told me so. I didnt feel at all like sleeping with her as I knew I wasnt really into her as she was into me! I just couldnt take someones virginity away knowing that I dont really want a serious relationship at that time. Its just not right! I ended up calling it off with her. I ve thought about this...however, if she wasnt a virgin, I think theres a high possiblity I would have had sex with her, got into a relationship for a while, and then still break up at the end of the day! So inevitably, you'll have to do the weighing up yourself and see what you want. If you really want to have sex with him regardless and youre just worried about the fact that he might have to 'teach' you, then Id say dont tell him. But if you want this because you really think both of you can have a serious relationship and are ready to take it to the next level, then Id suggest you tell him the truth! Whatever it is, dont be too hard on yourself on this, youre not alone in this! Choices choices!
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male
reader, GD  +, writes (13 June 2006):
As a guy, I can tell you that it is a big turn on to know that I'm with a virgin. Your boyfriend is a lucky dude!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): Guys get turned on when they know you're a virgin. Oh so I heared. He's going to have to know. I mean it isnt like you can hide it and pretend that you're not. He's going to know when you do eventually have sex with him, it isnt like you could hide your virginity because its going to be painful for you, you're going to be all tense, and want to cry and he's going to be able to feel you're a virgin. You've got to let him know at some point.
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female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (13 June 2006):
 dear reader be upfront no-one can tell you how he will react ask him to guide you (i think men like that lol) but be honest with him a lot of men feel honoured to "pop the cherry" so to speakgood luck with this i hope it goes well for you keep me posted (you can get me direct) all the best xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): There is no such thing as a stupid question - and this one certainly isn't. I'm 27 and lost my virginity 2 weeks ago. The guy knew that I was a virgin and he was very sweet about it.My suggestion would be to be honest - the first time is a little scary and can be quite painful, and if he knows that you're inexperienced, he'll hopefully take his time and make sure that you're ready. Also, you may find that you're not entirely sure what to do, and if he's aware of this, he won't think it's odd.Good luck, and I hope it's great :)
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