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female
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anonymous
writes: Do you ever have that one true moment with someone that seems so right?? These feelings are something that you where put on this earth to feel? That's how I felt when I was with my boss when we were out of town together -we hardly worked-we were so excited about spending time with each other and getting to know more about each other. I feel like I am in love with him. I don't know what to do because he is married (for a year) and he told me that he loves me. I have never felt so complete and 100% myself in my life. When you feel like this about someone, what do you do? Is it worth it to discover if this is your one true love? Or do you sit back and let it pass you by to never never find it again or feel the same way? Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2006): Anyway... I was thinking you can try to go after him. On your end, the morality of it may be 'negative', but the true test I believe is whether your boss will stay faithful or not. You, Ms. Anon is merely a catalyst for to test his loyalty to his wife.
If in the end, he falls and has an affair, then it is on his end that he will commit adultery. However, if in the end, he leaves his wife and stays with you, then great - at least two people are happy in this conclusion. On the other hand, if he stays with his wife and tells you that his heart is with her, though you are an attractive woman, etc, etc, then that's that - give up and move on.
As for the other aunts/uncle who gave advice, excellent as usual, but Dr. Pete's second line has a certain meaning of "trial and error" that I always seem to believe in. Just like whether I would let my gf go to Mexico with her friends if I can't go, and allowing her the chance to cheat on me - the concept is whether our relationship is strong enough - whether she is the right one for me, etc. If she cheats or leaves me, then obviously, she's not mine to begin with (per se).
Blah.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2006): Injecting heroin feels great but it doesn't mean we should all do it.
There are always consequences to others and ourselves with the decisions we make in life.
With potentially MILLIONS of people who you can fall in love with I think you would be far happier waiting to find someone in a better situation to have a proper relationship with.
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (3 September 2006):
 My dear how can something be right when its so wrong? Sweetie he is married, enough said. My dear I know its tough but you have to leave him alone, as the others have said, keep your distance. Its not healthy getting involved with a married person someone is going to get hurt. Take care. xXx
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A
female
reader, Juliette +, writes (3 September 2006):
 I agree with Ariel, you could be being taken in by a player. They can be very convincing and play on your feelings. No matter how much you are attracted, I would recommend you keep your distance. If it is not genuine he will realise and just move onto someone else, if it is genuine then I feel sorry for both of you but even then, he will need time to evaluate his marriage without you waiting in the wings. I disagree with the man having a short attention span as anyone can make a mistake, and no matter how romantic an edge you put on marriage, it is not until death do you part if you are devastatingly unhappy. I no longer believe in marriage but I do believe in giving a commitment a respectful try in a monogamous way, and even if he chooses to leave his wife, your future will always be tainted because he left her for you. Just bide your time, keep pleasant, and try to get on with your life without getting in any deeper with him. Let him forge his own way, because IF his marriage is on the rocks, it has to be because he wants to leave her and not to just move onto someone else.
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