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male
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anonymous
writes: I am in my fifties been married and had sexual experience.....I have a girl freind i have known for many years and she has been ill with ME for 8 yrs she is 35 and a virgin. She says until recently she has never had any sex drive but now after some treatment when she is due a period she masterbates but not always has a orgasm...we plan in the near future to have full sex and have had lots of mutual pleasure up to now but no penertration. She did also as a child have a sexual encounter which left her with an overtion to seamen. We have made lots of progress and she wondered if a small vibrator would help her reach easy orgasm..i have heard you can be come vibro-sensertive and become to reply on it to orgasm..do u think we should take natural or for her to use a vibrator to help ?? She was at first very frightened but we have got over that.
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orgasm, period, sex drive, vibrator Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Robin +, writes (7 September 2006):
Whatever turns you (her) on. I think though that you should both use it, and why did you say little? A life size model would surely be better? Your partner may possibly have an aversion to semen, but also does she because of this avoid sexual contact?
Maybe she is unable to relax completely when sex is in the offing?
Personally I think that I would continue with the external sex and the experimentation, if you both have a trusting relationship things will progress from there, when the time is right for full intercourse you both will know. Just in case she has an allergic reaction to semen ensure that you wear a condom.
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (3 September 2006):
 Hiya,
I dont see why she shouldnt try a vibrator and expiriment a bit, may let her see what turns her on and what she likes.. I myself have used them pretty much from the age of 15/16 and can whole heartedly say it improved my experiences as i knew what i liked... it has never desensitised me and I still actively use such toys either on my own or with my partner as part of our sex life.. I dont need to rely it to orgasm, but some woman do find it hard to orgasm by manual stimulation alone, so have a little experimentation. Theres no harm in using one as part of love making and it can make the experience a whole lot more fun. Id say go for it, see what she likes, being new to it she may not yet know herself what buttons are going to make her enjoy herself more... its what you both feel comfortable with and can really help you both to see what you like. If she doesnt feel ready to try that road with you and is maybe a little shy at that prospect, encourage her to try on her and then when ready introduce it into your love making... its all about exploring and seeing what works, have a little fun on and the way and always remain open.
Take and have fun
x x
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