A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My parents got divorced when I was 10. I feel like I'm only now (10+ years later) just getting over it and all the intentional hurt my mom caused me afterwards because of her hate for my dad and my likeness to him.Did anyone else have parents who split up and have all that anger/resentment/hatred transferred to you by the parent that you ended up living with? I found it difficult to cope and tried ending my life when I was 12.How do you feel today? Do you still see that parent? Are you happy? Did they genuinely apologize and did you accept?
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (14 November 2012):
my parents split up when I was 9 and I felt anger towards my mother for different reasons. she took me and my brother to live with her, and she let our father come round every day which. this was pointless as she had left my father because of his refusal to help himself (he had bipolar) and also the fact that he was abusive. we still had to put up with this atmosphere along with (for me) the trauma of my parents splitting up, nobody told me what was going on or explained anything to me. this anger lasted into my teens when my father continued to come round and damage our house resulting in our mother filing a restraining order. I now feel anger towards him as he committed suicide on holidays 2 years ago, I felt anger before that as he favoured my brother and I felt he could have done more to help himself. I might sound selfish here but this is how I feel.
I know this probably isnt the exact answer you were looking for but your post struck a chord with me.
A
female
reader, demeplev +, writes (11 November 2012):
 This isn't an answer but a question to you, this question has me intrigued..what did your mom, and or parents do exactly do to cause you these awful feelings? and why are you just dealing with it now, is it your on your own, your age? my reasons for asking is my daughter was 9 when me and her dad divorced, I don't want her feeling like this so any light you can shed I would be happy to hear.
Also I am very sorry you have gone thru this, I know one thing for the most part, most parents never want to hurt their children, but us adults make mistakes too and sometimes we have trouble handling our feelings too, still no excuse.
I am old fashioned and never believed i would ever be divorced, sometimes us moms have a lot of trouble dealing with our feelings of being abandoned, angry that he has left our family..again no excuse to transfer to a child these awful feelings.
I am sorry for your pain and anguish. i sincerely hope you can come to terms with all this and lead a happy life and have a happy and healthy relationship in your future.
Good luck. Peace and love
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