A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well first of all I would like to say im 19, I have always loved the Japanese culture, food, music, and of course the people. I have always wanted to have a Japanese friend but unfortunately that hasnt happened yet since there are not that many Japanese where I live. A couple of months ago I discovered that my neighbors that live across the street are in fact Japanese! However I havent spoken to them in person just seen them from a distance from time to time. From the few times that Ive seen then I saw a boy whos about my age. My question is how should I try and make friends with him? All I want is to become friends with the guy and his family since he might be the Japanese friend Ive always wanted to have that just happens to live across the street. I know this might sound weird but I have the best intentions. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help guys! Now the only thing im wondering is that I believe the kid is about 15 or 16 which makes me about 5 years older. Do you think we would get along? Also Im in college so I wonder if the guys parents would mind him hanging out with a college student. (Assuming I meet him and his family) any input on that?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2011): Just be a nice old fashioned neighbour and drop by some muffins and say that you have been meaning to stop by and introduce yourself!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 Just be careful of stereotyping them! If you want someone as a friend, you'd rather have them as a friend because they want you as a friend.. right, not because they want you as their study project. If you want to make friends with Japanese people, do it because those exact people are nice to have as friends. Base friendship on their personality, not their nationality!
Otherwise it's a study project, not a friendship.
I can also tell you that just because someone comes from one nationality doesn't mean you'll learn more about their culture or anything. One person isn't representative of their entire nation or culture. Might be they are so well adapted they have nothing in common with their heritage, might be they've lived in the states for many generations already.
If you want Japanese friends, go online, join a forum, try to learn the language and speak it online with online friends who actually live in Japan.
Now for the guy across the street, try to talk to him and be his friend on ONE circumstance: that you actually enjoy each others company as friends. Regardless of his nationality. Either he becomes your friend, or he becomes a Japanese person you are fascinated by.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 My DC colleagues are more circumspect... I don't see what the big deal is, being friendly is neither a crime nor an insult. Just drop a note in their mail box saying more or less . " Hi, I am your neighbour X who lives across the street , I am about your son's age, tell him if he can spare a minute to call me at this phone no... or come over for a coffee I'll be delighted. I am a big fan of Japanese culture / cuisine / fashion / whatnot, and I'd appreciate the chance to know a bit more about it".
While it's true that Japanese are more reserved than Americans, and not prompt to initiate contact, as far as my limited experience goes ( Japanese family next door ) they, like everybody else on the planet, respond nicely and kindly to who's nice and kind to them.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 lol, I love this question. It sounds like you're planning to adopt this poor japanese boy whether he likes it or not.
I guess learning to speak japanese would be your best bet... then you'd just have to find an icebreaker, maybe walk your dog past their house whilst casually whistling and say hi, (leaving your kimono at home naturally).
Just keep having casual interactions over time and ask lots of questions. I wouldn't go too full on, too soon... but that's only because if a stranger came to my house wanting to learn about Australia I'd show him the paint work of my front door.
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