A
female
age
30-35,
*0ph1e
writes: My boyfriend of 8 years and I have just moved in together and he lives away moday-Friday. I am concerned on what role I play and need someones advice. I know it may sound really stupid, but his mum has always done everything for him so he has never learnt. She also always takes over. To make things worse, he has a downsyndrome brother which we have looked after Friday for as long as I remember. I said when we moved in that I would like a balance between his and family, and do it every other weekend. That isn’t unreasonable right? This hasn’t really gone to plan. Also every Sunday his family are round and he goes round saturday, yet my family stay away because they know I just want time to be with him. He also plays football Saturday and Sunday so I don’t see him much.When he invites people over he never asks me before, arent we meant to tell each other?I may be being completely over the top, but what do I do. I want to tell him, but I don’t want him to think I am being a princess demanding attention all the time?!
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female
reader, Midnight Shadow +, writes (3 February 2015):
I couldn't be in such an unbalanced relationship because the chances of him changing are slim-to-none. Why? Because his mum will always be there to take his side and baby him, and he wants it to stay that way, so that he doesn't have to grow up.
Did you ever write up a joint "house rules" agreement, like common courtesy and household balance?
I hope you don't plan on having children with him; you already have one.
Honestly, you deserve better and the fact that you think you'd be asking too much is a tad concerning.
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (2 February 2015):
Your role right now is a house sitter from Monday to Friday and you are taking over his mom's duties. Does he go away for work? This is a burden when you are not married to him. Has he mentioned marriage? I would be calculative here. For example, how much he makes, how long that work/away for weekdays arrangement going to last, is he thinking about kids in the future, would his brother move in with you, do you love each other so much that you can't live without?
He is living the dream of a single life while having a girlfriend in the background. This is unfair for you. Asking for quality time isn't princess behavior. In fact he should treat you like a princess.
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