A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:The wife or the girlfriend? Well this is my question. I have been married for seven years. I got married when I was 22 and mainly because my wife was pregnant. Since then we have 3 children together. I have had 2 affairs on my wife both which she knows about. So here is where I need the help about 18 months ago I met a girl that I had a very strong sexual attraction to and our personalities seemed to really click so just like anyone else we started flirting and of course flirting ended up turning into sex and sex turned into a relationship. When my wife found out about the affair of course she freaked out. I moved in with the girl I had the affair with and lived with her for about 7 months before I moved back home to help with the baby to be born. I continued to see both of them during this time about 4 months ago I cut of ties with the girlfriend to commit to the wife but my heart never hurt so bad I missed the girlfriend like never before. So I started contact up again and the wife knows this. I have to make a decision the wife or the girlfriend. If I go with the girlfriend I really think it is true love, the sex is amazing, we have all the same interests and I am so happy around her. The negatives about the girlfriend are I am 30 she is 21, the child support and alimony, the guilt of leaving my wife I am the bread winner and she hasn’t worked in 8 years, the embarrassment of the divorce and the affair, and of course how the divorce will affect will children and me seeing them on a daily basis. So this is the cliff notes what do I do I have to make a decision. I just can’t keep seeing both of them. Please help!
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affair, divorce, flirt, moved in Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2007): frist i think that your wife should have left you long before this but also should take you for all you got dont be all pick in choose your wife loves you gave you 3 children and you keep cheating on her what over money you have issues there is something you deserve to be heart broken and lonely and to be broke and all a lone your wife and gf deserve better than you because frist your wife was good enough intil you found some one better if you married your wife because she was pregnate you should have left you penis in your pants that was no reason to be married you can be a father but watch when your old and alone because you left your wife for the gf that became your wife that now is your ex and the next girl leaves you because she found something that goes between her legs better your very low and shouldnt be called a man you dont even care if you hurt your wife which makes you more of an butt wipe go seek help and just may be life wont fall down around you i hope your wife kicks you to the curb and doesnt speak to you again your a terrible person
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): You need to leave your wife, set her free, and be responsible in the process - that means providing for her and your child. If the relationship you have with your girlfriend is as good as you say it is then you have nothing to worry about. Its clear from the fact you have had several affairs that you are not happy - so do the right thing. You are too worried about what other people will think about divorce etc! You should be worried about hurting people you care about - so get it right for once.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): I am pretty much in the same situation and it is coming down to having to make a choice. I would really like to talk with you. If you'd like to talk - we can email?
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (29 July 2007):
 If i was your wife i would of taken the decision out of your hands long ago.Why have you stayed with your wife when you cant stay faithful to her? And she was pregnant at the time?It doesnt make much sense to me. No one can tell you who to choose. Hopefully it will be your girlfriend because i would really like to know your wife has moved on and had a chance to meet someone that treats her with respect.Sorry ive not got an awful lot of sympathy, but if you are asking for advice im sure you wouldnt want wishy washy answers that arent what people really think?I would say go with the girlfriend. She will know the risk of you doing the same to her in the future and thats her choice. You can be a good parent without living there. Plenty of mums and dads manage it.C xxxxxx
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