A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im 17 going on 18 in about a month. im in love with a 25 year old. weve been dating secretly for about a year now, and my parents just found out and wont let me have anything to do with him. how can i make then understand how i feel, its not about sex. they think it is. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): Hey, im in the same situation as you.
mum and dad found out that we had been sneaking around and wasnt best pleased! but when it came down to it they was more annoyed that i lied to them.
i went out with my fella, we both got drunk, then i invited him back to my house for a drink! mum and dad met him that way and it helped to break the ice as we all had drinks together. my parents thought he seemed nice and they appreciated that he saw me home too.
hope this helps,
Jenna x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2007): im also 17, and dating a guy that's 23. parents are a problem, but dads are an even bigger problem. i had my mom and my guy go out for coffee. he explained that the relationship was not sexual at all. she got to know him better and now she trusts him and has no problem with us dating. suggest that your mom do the same. it will show how mature you are and how much you want this relationship to work. after your mom gets to know him, have your mom talk to your dad about it. moms are very convincing!
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A
female
reader, GoddamnedROCKSTAR +, writes (10 August 2007):
 Personally, I don't see a problem. I'm a bit younger than you, and my boyfriend is a bit older than yours. My parents don't know yet, but I'd imagine that since you will be eighteen in a month, You could just say, "Alright, mother. I'll leave it alone." until you're eighteen and legal to do as you see fit.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): Its only only the age gap people think about its the females age. I mean 17 and 24 gets a different reaction then from 18 and 25.At school 6 months difference is a lot when you both over 20 10 years don't ready matter, " hes in his thirty's and shes in her twenties " does not sound that bad.The older you get the less age matters and the less you want it to matter.A year is a long time,if you both at the same level/point in your life's (not a age thing, people see it for what they want just the same as interracial or same sex relationship.I have friends that have 8 years between them but never noticed or cared because it did not bother them they are happy. You cant help you you love or pick your family so, remember its about acceptance not there blessing but that would be great too. We can only live in the now. Hope it helps
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): You're 17? Okay, picture this: What do you think about the guys your own age who like to chase after and mess with 14/15-year-olds? Yeah. That's what your parents see when they look at your boyfriend. And your parents are probably not wrong, whether you wanna admit it or not. OF COURSE your boyfriend seems "mature" to you. He does for exactly the same reasons that the 17-year-old guys you know seem mature to the 14/15-year-olds they can impress so easily. But the 17-year-old guys aren't really mature at all, and neither is your boyfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): Well sweetie it depends on the individual and how emotionally mature you consider your personality to be,
There are young-headed 17 year olds and there are 17 year olds who act more mature then some girls in there 20’s,
you should tell your parents your old enough to have a mature relationship with this guy maybe your parents would feel more comfortable if you went the cinema or something and he had you back for a certain time,
Compromise you say the relationships not based on sex prove it to them, don’t be in situations like the bedroom or back to his place making him wait could be the best thing for two reasons
Will ensure his feelings are serious and that he’s not just thinking short term with you making him wait ensures his feelings are true,
Your parents are obviously are worried about this relationship and protecting you tell them you appreciate this but its no need to worry because you just love each-others company,
Take care
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (29 July 2007):
 The problem is technically you are still a minor and he is definetly an adult.
I don't think you can ever make your parents understand about an age gap. Try to see things from their point of view. You are dating a guy who has been having sex for a few years. They just don't want to see their daughter ruin her life. I know that's kind of harsh as they probably don't know this guy.
Give them a chance to cool off and see if they would meet him and get to know him a bit.
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