A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I sometimes think of my girlfriend and get images of her and her past sex life... I know exactly what the guys she's been with look like as I've seen them. I know some of the things she did to one of them. I hadn't had a sexual partner until I met her and it bothers me that she has. I keep thinking about it and believe she will be too. please help me
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2007): alright... from a guy to a guy... enjoy it... let her take control if she wants to... yeah, okay, it may bother you, however seriously... you gotta get over it and just try to find out what she likes and how she likes it.. ask her to show / tell her exactly what she wants... and remember,... she is not having sex with those guys anymore... just you, right? there are out of the picture!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): my boyfriend had no experience before me and i had, i really hope he won't feel this way. in my situation i know what i did i know it's the past and it is a private experience with someone else. i do not talk about it with my boyfriend don't want to scare him away. tell her to stop talking about it, that you don't feel confortable. You should not take this a threat if she is with you now and not with them is that she has a perfect reason and some experience can be bad some times. she is with you now. you are the man she wants to make love to so don't take it as a threat, you are the one who has her not them...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): original poster - I know i have to get over it, I want to get over it. I know too much information about what she's dont... she told me her ex's loved oral sex. I don't like knowing these things and i can't stop thinking about it.
do people think of ex partners and remember the sex they had? Do they comparied them to currant partners?
so many things i can't understand as i don't know how it feels
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): original poster - I know i have to get over this, I just don't know how. I had a vivid dream the other night of my girlfriend preforming an oral sex on her ex partner (because she told me it turned him on). Images like this only ever come to mind when im alone and not when im with her.
I've had partners before but because i didn't love them i held the sex back. She says she never loved them. Is it something people think about? having sex with ex partners is that a memory you dont forget?
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (10 May 2007):
 You don't like the idea of anyone else having been inside her... Is that sort of like saying other people who have been with her have sullied her?
You need to realize that the past is the past. She's with you now because she loves you, and if you don't stop being uncomfortable about her past relationships you will never get any rest in this relationship and it will break. I'm not saying that you have to be happy about her having been with other people, you just need to stop letting it get to you so badly.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): original poster - I don't want to be comparied to the past and im sure it happens. I don't like the idea of anyone having been inside my girlfriend. Its not a nice thought as i love her so much. I'm having a hard time coming to terms with it.
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A
female
reader, dragonette +, writes (10 May 2007):
Imagine yourself in the opposite situation: would she have been upset about you having more sexual partners than you? Probably not.
I want to tell you one very important thing that a wise woman once told me "it's not about how many people you sleep with, it's about the quality of the sex you have with those that you do sleep with".
Try to figure out to yourself why it matters so much to you that she has had more experience than you? Are you simply unsure of if you're with the right woman because you haven't been with any others? Do you think that your girlfriend is comparing you to other lovers that she has had? Or are you worried that she perceives you as unsatisfying in bed?
If it's the latter, ask her if there's anything you can do to make her enjoy it more. Make her show you how she wants it. Even if she does think you're perfect, she will probably be flattered about your trying to improve even more.
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