A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Am I spending too much time at work? I am being selfish? I've been married for a year. Live together and love my wife. She has many close ties with her friendsI work for the military which sometimes requires long hours. After work I get home, eat dinner and get some rest. Today, I wake up around midnight and she is nowhere to be found. Then I come to find out she went to a party its 0330am and she still not home. I'm hurt and disappointed since she couldn't even have the courtesy to tell me where she went. This is not the first time its happened. One day she came home at 10:00AM Should I expect something from her? Divorce? Maybe she prefers the company of her friends instead of me. Or then again maybe I'm just being selfish.
View related questions:
at work, divorce, military Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 December 2007):
 If I were you, I'd talk to her about this. I think it's OK for people to want to go out and part and have fun, even while married. Marriage doesn't give you a license to control or property rights over her. But being in a marriage, there has to be a certain amount of mutual respect. I had an ex that did that in the past, before I realized her pattern was abnormal behaviors, I would call the police to check if there had been any accidents within a certain period of time. I'd call to see if she'd been admitted to the hospital. I would worry about something happening to her.
As I said, it's OK for people to want to have fun and at times go out without the other person, but It's disrespectful to do so without the knowledge of the other person. It's not right to allow someone to sit at home worrying if your hurt or still alive, if there is a method of preventing that.
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (16 December 2007):
 It seems to me that the both of you are lacking in your communication and this can lead to some serious problems if it is not handled with care soon. I understand how stressful your job maybe but what the both of you need are some "ALONE TIME"! Pick a day or 2 to surprise her and spend some quality time whether its from having a nice dinner or just watching a movie she has been wanting to see. Whatever it is, just show her your dedicated to her and you can make time for her although your working really hard. Maybe the reason she goes out is because she is feeling lonely and may want some company. Since she cant get it from you, she gets it from the next people she is close to and thats her friends. Talk to her and let her know how you feel. Theres no need to divorce her over something that has a solution. Try and work things out with your wife. The both of you married eachother because you love eachother and you both made a promise to stay by eachothers side. So dont give up on your marriage. I think the best soultion is to just spend some nice quality time with eachother. Do something crazy and outgoing that the both of you have wanted to do together. Dont let your job take over your life, even if you work so hard. You deserve some fun in your life as well. Good luck!
...............................
|
