A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started a new job around 6 months ago, got on well with everyone. There was a guy who started like poking me and pulling my hair, not nastily, but in a fun way. I thought he liked me or something, until I was told he had a girlfriend, who actually works with us. He started talking to me every time I was around his section, and just recently it became more and more. He added me on Facebook, on IM too and we started talking a lot, up to like 3 in the morning. We'd joke around a lot, he seemed really confident in himself, which I naturally like in guys. So one night he told me about all the problems he was having with his girlfriend and how it was impossible to break up cause he'd tried twice before. The next night he'd told me he'd finally persuaded her to go home and really wanted to go out and couldn't find anyone cause he'd lost his phone. I wanted to go out too and we'd talked about meeting up on a night out, so when I found out my friends bailed on me, I decided we should go together. We went into town and went to a few bars, and eventually got really drunk, we went to some expensive place, bought some cigarettes, went outside and ended up making out. It continued for the rest of the night, in which he told me he had strong feelings about me, he'd had them for a while. We talked the next day, he asked me to go out with him again, but I refused and said only when he didn't have a girlfriend since I felt so guilty. He said how would he know when he broke up with her that I'd go out with him again, but wouldn't he want to get out of a relationship if he's so unhappy with her anyway? He said that it would cause so much trouble if he did, and if I didn't want to go out with him after then it would have all been for nothing. I really really like him, and after a string of bad dates, and someone who went back to their ex-girlfriend straight after has made me think how much I don't want it to happen again. I just don't know what to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2009): Thanks I've told him I never want to see him again unless he's broken up with her. I felt so awful and I don't want to assume that he'll definitely do it since I've been in this situation before and the guy did dump his girlfriend for me. I don't know why this always happens and I'd do anything for him not to have this present situation! He seems genuine and he said he's never ever done it before, but I get attracted to the 'bad boy' and I can't help it, I wish I wasn't but it just seems I keep wanting to hurt myself, since I've had such a string of bad relationships that I want to get out of so bad, I'm willing to take that chance!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 September 2009):
 My two cents: don't go out with that guy again. He's trying to play you.
Trying to get involved with someone else while you're with somebody is called cheating. While I can understand that the world isn't square and people will sometimes fall for someone else while on a relationship, this guy does not want to leave his girlfriend. So, it's not that he got carried away; he is consciously staying with her. No excuses.
And then, of course in the end things could not work with you. That is called "taking your chances", and we all have to do that.
I think he's simply trying to get into your pants and that's it. I think you should stay away from him.
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A
female
reader, shygrl86 +, writes (2 September 2009):
 Don't do it! Don't disrespect yourself or that other girl. If he would do it to her he would do it to you. And who knows if he really isn't happy with her. If he wants to be with you then he needs to be a man and grow some balls and make the right desicion. Nobody in this world has morals anymore. It is not okay for you to full around with him just as much as it is not okay with him to full around with you while he is in a committed relationship. What if that girl was you, hanging on and loving someone who is playing games behind your back. I hate to sound so harsh but don't sink to that level. I have been the girl on the other side and it hurts like hell.
Besides you don't deserve to be someones dirty little secret. Do your self a favor and keep saying no until he desides you are important enough to give her up for.
Keep me posted!
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