A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had an affair with a guy. this guy i loved him so much. The first time we met i was really shy to look at him in such a way that i could not even take off my clothes when the light was on. I will just wait until the light was off thats when i will take off my clothes. He never saw me naked. Until now we are no longer together because he had an affair another girl.So now i have a new boyfriend i am afraid that may be i am going to be shy also to him. So can you please help me on what to do. The reason why i felt shy to take off clothes is that i grew up knowing that i am ugly, they kept on telling me at home that i am built like a guy, i dont have buttocks i have english figure so this thing grew up in my mind. Now i dont know what to do, coz even being naked with girls like me is very difficult for me.How can I overcome this shyness?
View related questions:
affair, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, the bear  +, writes (5 November 2009):
This is a true story - your post made me remember this. I don't know which of us felt the worse when this happened, but we got through it and had a delightful affair. The story - I teach music, one of my students was a very fun woman - bright, capable, aware, etc., just wanted to get a bit better on the guitar. I was not attracted to her physically, there was no "electricity" between us, just working on the her guitar playing, chatting. Then I began treating/reacting to her as a person, not a studen. I discovered I really liked her, so wanted a full relationship, so to say. I asked her, she said yes - much to my pleased surprise - we set a date. No clinches, kisses, hugs, etc yet - probably just two people needing a connection. The big day arrives, we chat a bit, then head into the bedroom - still nothing physical. She got undressed first - except left her panties and bra on, then got into bed where, covered by bedcloths, she finished undressing. I being the usual airhead male thought nothing about it, undressed. And, as I am, to use a phrase, butt ugly, I've learned it's best to just always spent my time with a girl pleasing her, which kept my mind off me! So I went to get into bed, raised the covers to join her, found I was looking at the most beautiful naked woman I'd ever seen!! I hadn't really noticed before, we just got along and worked on her music. So, stunned, I said - Janice ( not her real name, folks, I've never mentioned her real name to anyone and won't, ever) I said, in stunned amazement, "Janice - you're beautiful!" And realized I'd just done a typical male clod thing. Her response? "Yes but my hips are too big." Causing me to look at her hips to check, and yes, they were too big - for absolute perfection. I almost lost my erection I felt so horrible, and worse for her to have to go through her life thinking like that! Yeah, I admit she was gorgeous, but SHE thought bad about herself. I still feel bad about the situation, and we're long parted and out of touch. I think there's two things here for you to take from my story - whatever you think about your body, is what it will be to you, and you can keep yourself occupied with a new lover by paying lots of attention to him, therefore less on you! And another thing - let him take your clothes off in the fire of passion. Then you won't be standing around so he can see your awful body. ( I'm joking here, ) but do let him undress you! Us guys love to do that - the old domination bit I expect. Good luck, Sweetie, may you never run into a clod like me!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys, i will practice all what you have said. I believe it will help me.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): I am the exact same way. Ive been in a relationship for 4 months and im in love with the girl and she is in love with me but i absolutely refuse to get naked unless it is completly dark. I never grew up with people commenting on my body i just dont like the way i look even tho she says she does and that i am beautiful. I recomend waiting before you have sex with him, you will come to realize that if someone loves you then what your body looks like doesnt matter to them. In actuality there is probably absolutely nothing wrong with your body i dont really get what you mean by english figure but there is nothing wrong with the english body lol so lighten up on yourself everyone in the whole entire world has little flaws so dont let yours bother you. If he falls in love with you then he will love you in the light or in the dark it wont matter so just be you and dont worry about what people say
...............................
A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x  +, writes (3 November 2009):
 It's common for people to be shy and unwilling to expose themselves to another person, our bodies are a private thing and it's a big step to share it.
I'm sorry your self esteem and self confidence has been negatively affected by other peoples uninvited words. It's horrible to be told things like that, especially at home, and it's understandable that being naked in front of someone else is a problem for you.
Everybody is different, everybody has their quirks and differences.. but everyone is beautifully unique in their own way. I think before even attempting to have sex with your boyfriend, you need to really work on this alone. I'd suggest, when you have some time alone, to stand infront of a mirror completely naked. Don't allow yourself to think negative thoughts, but instead work from head to toe, finding every little thing you like about your body. Even if it seems like it's silly. I promise you'll feel better by the end of it, if you've tried hard enough. On another note, confidence is very attractive, and this helps mask any flaws you may think you have.
If your boyfriend is worth your time, he won't care about the bits of you that maybe aren't so great, and he'll respect the fact you're so shy at first.
And lastly, English figure? You use that in a derogatory way it seems, so what exactly is it supposed to mean? I'm English and I love my figure!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): I actually know exactly where you are coming from. I was very shy as a child when it came to just interacting with people in general. Also I grew up being very private about anyone seeing me naked. I didn't even used to like being naked when I was by myself, unless I was showering.Now I'm quite comfortable being naked (in situations where it's appropriate) and I've become much more outgoing. The thing that did it for me was to just grit your teeth and force yourself to do it a few times. Then you'll become more comfortable with it.When it came to being naked my gf at the time would like to spend time in my room with me naked after we would make love but I always wanted to put my boxers on right away. She kind of got upset thinking that I didn't feel comfortable enough with her. So I tried it a few times, for her. Eventually I became very comfortable with her and since then any gf I've become close with I have no problem being naked around.With dealing with people in general I would force myself to just go up to random people and strike up a conversation. Now I'm comfortable chatting with just about anyone.All you have to do is tough it out the first few times and after a while you'll look back and laugh that it ever bothered you in the first place.
...............................
|
