A
male
age
36-40,
*car94019
writes:About two years ago, i was in a relationship with a really great girl. i mean this relationship was so good, it was hard to believe. i truly believed this person was my soul mate. well, i was planning on asking her to marry me, when she started to act rather strange all of a sudden... next thing i know she was gone... she disappeared for about a month, and when i found her again, she was married to a guy she had only known a week. this devastated me. I joined the military and shipped off to boot camp... fast forward a year, she starts talking to me again, and telling me she really loves me and made a huge mistake with this other guy... i come back on leave, they get a separation and she tells him that she wants a divorce... during this period i was so happy, thinking that we were going to be together again. i love her so much and i was willing to forgive her for her mistake of marrying him. during this time she cheats on her husband with me.... then, when i have to leave to go back to my station she gets back together with him. leaving me heartbroken again.... Well, i end up getting stationed in japan, and not soon after i get there, i find out that she is pregnant with his child... and for the last year or so we have been talking on and off, and every time we do she tells me how unhappy she is with him, and with how her life is going (they live at his parents house, and he refuses to get a job leaving her to work full time wile pregnant) and that how she thinks we are soul mates but she feels like she has screwed everything up and doesn't know how to fix it.... now she has had the baby, and apparently has filed for divorce..... me and her are full fledged talking again, and she says that she wants more than anything in the entire world to be with me... and that she realizes now that im the only one that can truly make her happy. i feel the same way about her. after all this i still love her the same as i did before. but my question is, should i take her back? and take on somebody elses kid? knowing what she did tears me apart inside every time i think about it, but i feel no bad feelings towards the child... i wonder if she is just going to break my heart again in a never ending cycle..... please, any advice would greatly help...
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divorce, heartbroken, military, period, soul mates, soulmate Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sydnee  +, writes (8 February 2010):
Dear Scar94019Getting back with this woman isn't an optionShe clearly has no consideration for your feelings and getting back into the relationship will make you vulnerable again. if she is the kind of woman to marry someone after a week and have a child with them she is the kind of woman any self respecting man should be withouttell her you loved her at the time and you still do but you arent prepared to put yourself in that position againthe important thing is to not back down no matter what she saysthe position you were in was that of recovery you're getting more vulnerable everyday dont do that to yourselfGood LuckSydnee x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2010): your blinded by " love "kick her to the curb and find yourself a decent girl who will love and be faithful only to you!!!this girl had screwed things up for sure and now she thinks your her only ticket to a better life and a future for both her and her baby !!she cheated on her husband so she's gonna cheat on you sooner or later think about it your stationed in Japan it's afar away place ... your a marine (I think )girls wont be much of a problem for you, your too young to think about love and marriage enjoy your life and leave her I'm sure her husband is not that badgood luck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 February 2010):
Of course she will break your heart again. She's already hurt you THREE TIMES! No, you shouldn't take her back at all.
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