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female
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anonymous
writes: Am I never going to find the right guy?I'm 21 years old and I always seem to go for guys who are very unattainable (the ones I can't have or who break my heart). I dont know what to do, feel as though I'm never gonna find someone to love. Please help me. Reply to this Question Share |
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2005): You are much too young to be worried about this right now. I am 26, and have had many many boyfriends. Each person you date is an experience that leads you to the right one. Stop looking and wishing and praying. Work on yourself, about being attractive, go out with the girls or coworkers, and do that alot. Join a martial arts class or church. You usually meet people there, they mayknow guys for you, or you may make some really good friends. At 21, this is your time for yourself, to do what you really want to do. I got married at that age, and I wish I hadn't. I got divorced right after, and even now, I don't know my true self yet. I just got dumped AGAIN after 1 year, but I'm staying positive and using it as a learning experience. Don't be down-hearted. Just be motivated!!!! There's nothing more attractive than an independent, confident girl who's got her game on!!! Good luck, and don't be in a rush!
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (26 October 2005):
Think about what you find so attractive about unattainable guys. Is it the excitement, challenge? Think about what you would like to find in an attainable guy. Perhaps you are attracted to the typical bad guy and you need to work out why.
How about internet dating? Or going out with your friends and not actually looking for Mr Right. He is more likely to appear when you aren't expecting it as LucidCupid says.
Keep your options open and don't feel frustrated about not finding the right one yet. You are still very young; there is plenty of time. Just don't disregard the man who doesn't instantly catch your eye. You never know whats round the corner.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, LucidCupid +, writes (26 October 2005):
I'm reminded of the question 'How long is a piece of string?'Unfortunately there is no definite answer to your dillemma.I wouldn't be too concerned about it at your age,everyone finds the right person at different times in their life-some sooner,some later.I was 32 before I found the love of my life.I understand you're feeling a bit disillusioned,but we all have doubts about our appeal to the opposite sex during our younger years.Hang in there,the man of your dreams will probably walk into your life when you least expect it.Love isn't something you 'find',it's something you 'feel'.You'll know when the 'right guy' is in your life.
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