A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is very harsh as I'm a mother to a 3 year old myself but I seriously cannot stand the sight or thought of my boyfriend's children. He has 3 kids to 2 different women they are 6, 4 and 2 and I'm now 3 months gone with his 4th. At one point I thought they were great but lately I just get annoyed whenever I'm around them and have told my boyfriend I wish they didn't exist! Could it be my hormones? Or am I seriously the worst 'step-mother' alive? He always says he wishes my daughter was his biologically but I seriously don't feel the same way about his children, if anything I don't want them anywhere near me. I've considered leaving him because his children don't deserve me feeling hatred towards them but I can't, I'm not actually nasty to them, I'm really nice but these feelings are getting me down, how can I learn to accept them?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2012): you are 18-21 with a 3 year old and another on the way, and this will be your boyfriends FOURTH child?! do you not see what might really be the problem? you have involved yourself with someone who has baggage and you are still very young, and now all the 5 kids you both have between you will be biologically related. it is normal for you to feel this way, pregnant or not because we do not have the same attachment to someone elses kids as we would to our own. but I think the real problem is that you are too young for this complicated set-up, personally it is not something I would ever choose for myself but especially not at your young age. whats the huge rush in having kids so young
A
female
reader, IamJess +, writes (16 July 2012):
 Probably your hormones if you felt differently before you was pregnant, its probably just because he's had them with different women that aren't you, so it makes you feel different about them obviously, and they've got stuff that would connect them to their real mother, so obviously you wouldn't want them as your own, technically not your own.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 July 2012):
 Hormones. I think that instinctively it's normal to want his other children gone, so that you and your child will have his full attention.
In the animal kingdom a new alpha female will kill the offspring of the former alpha female, if she has the chance... Just as a male will kill off the offspring of a female so he can breed with her and have her give all her care to HIS offspring.
Try to keep quiet about any hatred for his children, and maybe just avoid them as much as possible while you are pregnant. I'm thinking this will pass once your hormone-levels are back to normal.
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