A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a husband that wants to leave me because I'm not as smart as him and he said he's lonely and I feel bad but we have three kids. I'm not perfect I have made some bad mistakes such as I used to hit my partner because he would back me in a corner. I don't trust him because he takes off for days at a time and come back and tell me I don't have a right to know where he was or who he was with again if he was safe. I used to be controlling towards him and tell him he can't work or hang out with his friends. I guess the reason was his ex gf lived in nashue nh and she would tell me I hope your child would die. But again I was wrong to tell him who he can or who he can't hang out with and I'm sorry. He said we don't click and that makes me sad. I didn't think we had to have the same IQ or EQ. I'm lonely and sad. Help!
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (16 July 2012):
This isn’t really about who’s more intelligent, that’s a smokescreen. This is about a relationship in which there’s no trust, controlling behaviour and violence. So what actually works in this relationship? He doesn’t want to be with you, you won’t even let him work because you’re so controlling, whilst he thinks he can disappear for days without even giving you an explanation. It’s hard to tell who’s behaved worse in this relationship, but the important thing is that you just don’t work together. Sadly it sounds like your marriage has run its course, so perhaps it’s time for a difficult conversation where you agree decently to go your separate ways and work out how you can both play a part in your children’s lives, and be good parents separately.
I wish you all the very best.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 July 2012):
 Some people are, quite simply, "intelligence snobs." They think that - because they test high for IQ - that they are a "cut above" us commoners.....
Frankly, I would suggest that you modify your focus.... FROM yourself, TO him.... and spend all your mental energy (what little you have left... according to him!!!) on figuring out how to make the most of your life AFTER you've excised him from it!!!!
Good luck....
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