A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing this guy i really likethere was this story where he fingerd my friend befor we were seeing each otherbecoz of the fact i am 13 and he is 15 i am worrid that he wants to have sex but i am not readyhe keeps on putting his hands on my bum but through my trousers and i get worrid on what he is going to do.i keep on movng his hands, he is fine with everything he said he will go at my pace. i will let him touch my boobs or whatever but i am worrid that this will not keep him happy and he will leave mewhat shall i say to him as i really like him.Please help!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): please DONT GIVE IN TO HIM!!!! Remind him that you're jut not ready to have sex yet, and make it quite clear. Don't give in just to make him happy!!! You're only 13!!!!He might think he's a "man" and mature, but he's only a kid. and to be honest, 15 year old boys don't know how to ahve a relationship with a girl, he probably wont stay with you anyway, why give him the satisfaction of taking your virginity? If he can't accept that you don't want to have sex with him, then he really doesn't care about you and is only intersted in one thing. In that case tell him to buy playboy instead (although he's probably not old enough to!). If he can't accept it, I'm sure you can find a much nicer boyfriend! Enjoy being a kid for as long as you can, its for such a short time, and you're an adult for years and years and years! 13 year olds should be having fun enjoying the last of their younger years, not engaging in sexual encounters. When you get to my age (23) you'll understand what I mean!
A
female
reader, lovehate +, writes (23 October 2007):
 Do not do anything you don't want to do! That's the thing most people forget. I am not going to say don't do anything 'sexual' as i know most people will go and do the exact opposite, even at 13 or 14.
I am nearly 16 and was ready to have sex when i was 15 and 4 months.
Go at your own pace. If he wishes not to respect that it is your body and that he will have to wait, he isn't with you for the reasons you think he is. All 15 year old boys are the same, sex comes to mind! He is slightly older than you, which i think you should have thought through before as there will be things you won't be ready to do but i know lust and love come before all the thinking! If you really like him just tell him, it sounds like you have it under control.
He should be lucky he is touching your boobs! Remember you are in charge honey. Don't let him put you under pressure. Just tell him you are not ready. Anyway the first time isn't a barrel of fun. It's nerve racking as hell and slightly painful.
I hope i helped =]
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (23 October 2007):
 Well done for rushing into anything your not ready for, he should be happy that you let him touch your boobs! And if he really wants to be with you then he should go at your pace and not pressure you, dont do anything you dont want and if he pressures you for more that your not ready for then he isnt the guy for you, you only lose your virginity once wait till your 100%ready and with someone you love dont worry about what he has done before this is you and your body so your decisions make him wait.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): You're very young. To force yourself to do what you are not ready for and simply to please your partner will come against you. Cost worries, feelings of inadequacy and contradictions. You normally don't start in these conditions, it can give you an inhibition for other relationships. You're just at the beginning of the road. Enjoy the friendship side of a relationship firstly and limit to it, because as you said, you're not prepaired.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (23 October 2007):
 hi Anon.
Good for you a person who nows her own mind, if you are not ready for him to take your relationship any further than hugging or kissing, then that is up to you, you should talk to your bf and set some ground rules, make sure he understands that you are not going to let him take advantage of you in this way.
Tell him how you feel about him doing these things to you,and that you do not want to engage in such activity,if he is just after one thing and he leaves you, then you are better off without him,and have chance to move on and find some one who will show you more respect for your wishes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): Tell him the truth, let him know that you are not ready for sex. If he reall loves you then he will understand. Don't let him tell you " if you love me, then you will give me what I want " crap. He needs to respect your feeling. You are quite young honey, and have lots of time for sex. I am proud of you not wanting to do it yet. If you loose him just because you did not have sex with him, then he wasn't worth it...really. I am sure that you are a pretty young lady and that someone who really love and respects you will come along. Hope that this helps, Good luck sweetie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): He's not going at your pace! If he were, none of this would be happening. What he's doing is abusive. He doesn't love you, he just wants to have sex with you. You should not have any problem with breaking up with him and getting him out of your life. You will definitely have sex if you stay together.
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