A
female
age
30-35,
*ove_is_all_youu_need
writes:I developed extremely strong feelings for an attractive male teacher about 18 months ago. His personality is simply 'perfect'. He's such an amazing person! In the course of this time, i've gone through depression (He had a baby boy last year and got engaged) Due to the pressure, I regretably made my feelings obvious to him, which resulted in some devastating consequences. The problem is; i'm leaving school next week... I might not ever see him again! I've been crying every night for the past few weeks, unable to come to terms with it. How can I get over him? I don't start college until September, and probably will have zilch contact with any guys until that time... So it's not as though I can quickly attach myself to someone else! I don't know what I can do, i'm scared i'll become depressed again! xx
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need +, writes (12 June 2008):
Love_is_all_youu_need is verified as being by the original poster of the question To the poster asking me to expand on the situation,
Well... I did make my feelings fairly obvious by staring and smiling at him alot, also I used to hang about wherever he was and on the odd occasion talked to him!
Even though I made feelings obvious to him, I wanted to confirm it so, I wrote a letter expressing my love for him (this is what led to the consequences)
Once he received it; he reported me to the headteacher, who then informed other teachers (for some reason?) and also phoned my parents, asking both me and them to attend a meeting to discuss it. I got lectured by my headteacher and my parents gave me so much grief over it! After this, things were never the same again. This teacher felt incredibly awkward around me and avoided me for some time after, and all the other teachers used to gossip about me! Things have settled down since but there's still that awful tension there, I will never forgive myself for what I put him through.
So yeah, that's what happened... It's been a very eventful year for me! My emotions have been all over the place.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): I thought I was in love with a teacher but trust me, if you made it obvious to him that you have strong feelings for him and only regreted it then he's not for you!!If he felt the same way he would have responded to that positivly, if yall ever had a little fun together(if you know what I mean) then get his phone number and stay in touch other wise get someone else,dont waste time with people that have no point making a big deal over while you're young
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): hey can i just ask a question - you say you regret making your feelings obvious to him because of devastating consequences...can you expand on that please? what happened when your feelings were obvious and how were they obvious?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): Oh yea! Voluntary work is a great way of filling up your time. Helping people gives you a good feeling and will make you aware of how lucky you are. Keep busy, and before you know it these feelings will slowly die away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): You present as aged 16-17, what are you going to do, kill yourself because you can't see this man again. You gonna spend the next 50-60years crying your eyes out. Your in love, your love is not wanted. Well that's life. I want to marry Paul Newman, but he dosen't love me, well that's life too.
You will soon be an adult, you will have to become strong enough to deal with the disappointments that come up in life. People fall in love all the time, and sometimes these people don't love you back. He dosen't love you, he loves his girlfriend. His gonna marry her not you. That's the way life goes.
Forget about men for the moment. Continue working on your education and your career. Get yourself into a good college, find a good job, find an interesting hobby, start a business. There is so much you could do with your life, rather than moping about some soon-to-be married man. Find some supportive girlfriends to do fun things with.
Pinning over a man you can't have is immature and a waste of your life. Grow up and start to do positive things, which will make you more attractive and interesting as a person, rather than a child who plays make believe and wastes her life on dreams that won't come true.
If the feeling becomes to uncontrollable, then go to your GP and see what help they can offer you to deal with these strong feelings. People are right when they say youth is wasted on the young. Enjoy your youth, cause it dosen't last long at all, and before you know it you'll be properly unhappy and stressed out like the rest of us.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 June 2008):
You need to find yourself something fabulous and exciting to do over the summer. Can you line yourself up a job or a work experience placement somewhere cool so you can focus on what career you want?
You could set up a jewellery making business or find work abroad. There are plenty of hotels that offer accomodation as part of the deal so you could get away. Or be an au pair?
You have to think of something to throw yourself into so you don't have time to think about anything.
Physical work / exercise will help you fight off depression.
Good Work!! xx
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