A
female
age
30-35,
*lphakenny1
writes:me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year, this is the second time we've dated.the first time, he left me for his ex-girlfriend.but, i figured out his myspace password a couple months ago.i wanted to go on so bad and see what was up,but i thought to myself "if you go looking, you might just find what you're looking for"and didnt do it,one night i just decided i had to, because i had been getting the weirdest vibes that he was messing around.i went on and saw that he asked some girl for pictures of herself, which im assuming would be nudes.he also told some girl that he didnt that he had seen anyone look so beautiful in his life,which he has told me numerous times.we got in a huge fight about it, he tried to cover it up with a lie, and cover up that lie with another lie and just none stop lying. which also hurt, if not more.i just dont get how or why he'd do this after a year.it's hard to talk to him about how i really feel about the situation because he doesnt want to hear it.and i think it's very unfair to me.i try and play it off like everything is okay, for the sake of our relationship.when, this is not okay at all.i dont know what to do anymore :(HELP?
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female
reader, alphakenny1 +, writes (9 March 2009):
alphakenny1 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys!
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (8 March 2009):
You should not put up with this at all!!! This isnt right what hes doing. If hes in a committed relatonship, its inappropiate and insensitive to your feelings for him to be going around and telling other girls that they are the most beaituful he has ever seen, then tell you that, and also ask for naked pictures of other girls!! Gosh..thats horrible.
On top of all of that, he lies, and doesnt care to listen to your feelings?
Honestly, do you want to be wit ha guy who disrespects you, doesnt care about your feelings, who is insensitive, violates relationship boundaries, and who lies? I dont think you do, but part of you is holding onto this relationship for some reason. Maybe because you love him? Because he is good sometimes. Emphasise the word 'sometimes'. Sometimes isnt good enough. How do you feel about yourself? Do you beleive you deserve better than him? Well, you do!!! No girl should be made to feel this way and treated how you are being treated. The issue is, him- not you.
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A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (8 March 2009):
Unfortunately, I suspect you do know what to do, but don't want to do it.
I suspect you want a way to have this not hurt, to still trust him, and to be happy with him like you once were.
However, he seems not to be the person you once thought he was, does not seem to be trustworthy, and seems to be willing to hurt you.
A relationship takes two people who are committed to each other, and who are willing and able to be honest. It doesn't sound like he was truly committed to you, even if he does have feelings for you.
You have to ask yourself if you are willing to accept this behavior and lack of commitment. If not, I'd suggest you get out. Staying in and trying to change someone may be a nice idea, but usually it's a cover for just settling.
If you don't want to settle, move on.
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A
male
reader, JunePoopay  +, writes (8 March 2009):
i can see theres a bit of jealousy. well, if you love him then you shouldnt be too strict on him, cuz in life, guys are kinda like girls. they like to have fun with friends and stuff. how would you feel if your boy told you not to talk to your friends (boys). i can see you love him very much and i give a lot of respect to that. try talking to him in mannered voice, dont go all out on him, let him explain.
if you think you cant stand it any longer, than why plan to stay with him. there are other guys who respect a lot of girls and they would tell the truth. i would get jealous if my girlfriend talked to too many guys, but she doesnt. my girlfriend only talks to some guys often and i wouldnt care becuz i know she loves me. so if you plan to stay with your guy, dont go too ahead of things and make it worst. guys and girls like to have fun, they dont just like to hang out with boys, they need more attention from the opposite sex too, they want to feel wanted. so my advice for now is: 1. dont get jealous over unecassary things 2. let your boy have some fun 3. if he over does what he does, then leave him alone and see how things turn out, dont make it worst 4. give him more attention, dont get distracted (and lastly) 5. go have some fun with your guy friends and see how he feels. Hope some of these advices helped. I'll be here to help anyone
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