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I went away with my boyfriend but now that we're back home, I feel like he's tired of me

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 June 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 June 2017)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I went away on a mini vacation for four days together. We both had such a fun time. It's a drag to be back home to be honest. On the car ride back, my boyfriend was feeling down because the trip was coming to an end. I felt down too. But he just seemed openly cranky.

Usually he comes to see me after his classes on Monday, which is tomorrow, but he said to me today "What, haven't you had enough of me yet?"

We had sex for 4 straight days in a row and we also spent quality time together shopping, eating out, checking out the sites and seeing a show. He bought me a gorgeous dress.

I was counting on seeing him tomorrow too but he said he doesn't want to come over.

I sort of feel cast aside. After 4 awesome days, he basically told me he doesn't want to see me tomorrow.

Why would he be upset about the trip coming to an end and then not come to see me tomorrow when he has a chance? As far as I know, he does not have anything else to do.

What am I supposed to think?

After the best time ever, I am left feeling like he is the one who has had enough of me over the past 4 days.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (16 June 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntEveryone needs space in relationships, yes am sure he was sad the four days came to an end, but it is nice to have time to yourself as well. Don't take it personally. Find something to distract you. Catch up with friends and enjoy your day.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (5 June 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt I side with the boyfriend too :). You don't need to take this personally, as if he is tired of you. He is not, I am sure, but lots of people ( including me ) may very well love you to bits AND after 4 dsys of full immersion 24 / 7 just need / want a little space , some " me time ".

As a matter of fact... don't you want it too ? How come ? ..

Don't you have to check your emails/ do your hair / finish a good book / have a long chat with your BFF / clean up your place / give your dog some TLC... etc.etc. etc..?

I agree with Honeypie, quantity of time together does not mandatorily translates in quality. In fact, the best relationships are not fusional. They are not the ones where you feel anxious and unhappy whenever your SO is out of your sight. They are instead those where you can wisely and healthily alternate closeness and independence, because you know for a fact that giving some time to your personal interests and concerns won't change at all your mutual feelings and your place in each other 's life.

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A male reader, judgedick France +, writes (5 June 2017):

judgedick agony aunti think he is very grown up and given you and him space , not trying to fill your life with just him , it is a good thing for you and him to have others and other intrests , after 4 days of sex he is doing good to give you space

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (5 June 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI think he just needs a breather. As LOVELY as 4 days, 24/7 was, he might just need a little time and space to recharge.

I'm the same way. Being with people 24/7 drives me to give myself little TIME OUTS. And I still do that even AFTER 20 years together.

It's not that he has HAD enough, it's that he had an "overdose" and need to chill a little. Don't take offense. Let him recharge, and YOU do the same. Go see a good friend, go out for coffee and tell her ALL about your little trip or take a night off with a bottle of wine and a good book, wash your hair, do your nails, take a little me-time. TRUST me, a GOOD relationship doesn't mean you need to stay superglued to each others. A good relationship means you can also give each other a little space here and there, LET him miss yo ua bit, CRAVE to see you and be with you.

Chin up.

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