A
female
age
30-35,
*x-Scorpio-xX
writes:I know this isn't a relationship question but everyone on here gives good honest advice. I feel so lost. I was training for the job position higher than mine, and I moved to another department and increased my hours hoping that will leave a good impression on my managers when they asked since they said it was a requirement to get that promotion. Now recently the whole company head office has changed everything and the role is no longer available since they are essentially removing them all from all the stores across the country. I’m not sure yet what will happen and I can apply for the new positions they’re looking to create but they don’t seem worth it to me. I have been told I would have to re-apply for a normal colleague role or there is a chance for redundancies even though they are saying they don’t want to make many of them. I’m not allowed to move back to my old department where I was so much happier, I can’t go back to my old hours or reduce them and I’ve told two different managers I’m unhappy and they weren’t very sympathetic at all. The thing is, I feel as if this role is now taking a toll on my mental health, I am constantly depressed at work, I have no energy, I feel scared and I find myself wanting to call in sick everyday just to avoid going in. I have never been like this in a job before as I’ve always had a very strong work ethic and now I just feel passive and drained. I live in a town away from home and don’t want to move back as I have a wonderful boyfriend here. Most jobs around here are low hour contracts or zero hour contracts which I can’t afford to be on as I live independently so I don’t want to downgrade from a stable 39 hour guaranteed hours a week to 15 or so a week if that. I can’t afford to live on an apprentice wage and I don’t have the time or money to get a qualification in the job my heart is wanting~ chef work. Are there any pieces of advice or suggestions you can give me? I don’t want this depression to consume me any more than it already is.
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female
reader, louiselistens +, writes (7 March 2018):
 Hi Xx-Scorpio-xX,
That is wonderful news! Good luck in your new work, I'm sure you will be fantastic!
Best wishes
louiselistens
A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX +, writes (4 March 2018):
Xx-Scorpio-xX is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you both for your advice :)
After spending a few days obsessively job hunting late into the night after work I applied for a job nearby that didn't require experience and got an interview and trial shift and have got it :) I start next month and I've given my notice in to my current job. The best thing is that I will be a chef in a wonderful independent restaurant on much better pay I'm on now~ I literally can't wait to start! I loved my trial shift and the people I will be working with!
Handing my notice in was the best feeling ever!
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A
female
reader, louiselistens +, writes (3 March 2018):
Hi Xx-Scorpio-xX,It sounds like you've put a lot of effort and hard work into your career and your managers do not appreciate it at all. If your work is making you feel like you're a slave, it is a toxic enviroment for you and you need to leave before it really starts to harm your mental and emotional well being.I know that might be a scary thought, especially as you have a relationship that you don't want to risk right now, but it could be the best decision you ever make. Your life sounds as if it is centered around work and if you stay in a line of work that you hate it will drain all of the positivity and passion that you have and your partner will notice. Overtime you may become less attractive to them. Especially if work is making you so tense that you end up bringing some of that tension home with you and taking it out on your boyfriend, which is not something that you want to do.If you make a move into a career that you are passionate about, makes you excited and gives you that feeling of fulfillment, your boyfriend will pick up on that and find you so much more attractive for having that passion in your life. I know that you're scared of making a move in case you have to take a job that's in another town, but moving for your career doesn't necessarily mean that the relationship has to end. People all over the world make long distance relationships work and with all the technology we have to hand it has never been easier to feel close to somebody, no matter how far away they are. Take the jump, it could be the best move that you ever make, for your career and your relationship.Best wishes,louiselistens.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (16 February 2018):
 I can understand how you feel for years I worked in a similar environment. The job you currently have is filling your mind with worries and draining you of energy. The best thing would be to have a change and find a new job but your not willing to relocate or find one in the area that you are currently in so that does give you limited options in life. Is there no way your boyfriend could move with you if you do eventually find a job someplace else?
There is nothing worse than working as a slave in a place you dont feel valued or appreciated. Dont continue down that road hoping you will feel better because the company wont change anytime too soon. Your managers were not understanding or helpful so they obviously dont care about their staff. Obviously its a good thing that you have a job but your mental health is far more important because without your health you cant survive long . I would suggest finding a new job nearby ( or one with better career prospects, and wages) and even if it means you would have to move home ask if your boyfriend is willing to relocate if needs be because your health and happiness is suffering. I think if he cared he would at least think on it. Personally speaking I had to eventually move to follow my career path and although it was not easy it definately was worth it. I am much happier and I now have a better income , more freedom and happiness. So talking from experience, but you have to decide whats more important to you right now, your happiness vs stuck in this position / job.
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