A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I recently started a new job and instantly became attracted to one of my co workers, we spoke he said he was single and asked me out.I got speaking to one of the girls and she told me he was married. I then told him I wasn't interested as he has a wife, he told me again he was single and asked me just to go for coffee and to get to know each other; I was confused as to what to think so I went on the idea maybe I could find out why work people said he was married and yet he was adamant he was single!Turns out he left his wife 6 months ago; lives in his own apartment but doesn't want people from work to know as he is a very private person! I'm confused as what to do; do I start a relationship with him knowing he is single but probably be called all the names under the sun at work or do I just call it a day now!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 March 2013):
 If it were me, I'd wait until the ink on the divorce decree is dry. He's been separated for 6 months, isn't it time he gets on with it?
You don't know much about him, the job is new, I'd keep it low-key and let him resolve it. For all you know, he may try it on with every new female hire at the company.
If that boundary bothers him, well, maybe he's not a good guy.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 March 2013):
 he's separated not single. He's not telling anyone... clearly its not a resolved issue with his wife.
My dad and mom separated for a bit... dad even had his own place. they worked it out and got back together and lived happily ever after....
He may be getting READY to be single but if he's not divorced he's married.
Not sure how the rules where you live work but I can tell you in my state.. there are only two ways to be... married or divorced. In my state we do not have something commonly called "legal separation"
IF you like him and want to see where it goes with this guy I advise you to tread carefully.
1. he may be separated but he's legally married
2. he's very private and if you are involved folks at work will talk and that's not cool for a private fellow...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 March 2013):
If you know that he's single, and you like him and he likes you, then I say go for it. You know that he;s single, and that's all that matters. And if anyone asks, you can always say that he is single.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2013):
Why not just be friends?? That's kinda cool .. And I think really whether he's private or not unless he wants tension at work he should come clean, he's looking to date, right? So what's the issue in him saying he's single ?
Tell him your happy to be friendly with him but if he wants more then he's going to have to bite the bullet and let people know he is single as no way are you being the fall guy or being labelled as a home wrecker as neither would I want to be labelled as something I wasn't . But until then you'll say hello and talk just at work .. Nothing else..
Take care.
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