A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm 16 and in high school. ok so i like this guy. he's amazing and i think i'm in love with him. i just can't stop thinking about him. we're friends and we always talk on the bus cause he's not in any of my classes. i think he might know i like him, but i think he likes this other girl who's a year older then us. anyway so i wanted to know if he would care if i died so i asked him and he said no. once i got home i started to cry. i was just really upset. i like him so much and that really hurt me. is that normal to feel that way and to cry? normally i don't cry often. i was even so upset i cut myself a little. i regret doing that, but i just didn't know what to do. that was my first time i've ever cut myself. i tryed to get over him, but i can't. its just to hard and i like him to much. please help me, i don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, X-Chlo-X  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 It would be normal to cry , Not so much slit , but i understand why you did that , as i went through it myself and so did my friend , if you like him so much you would do that then u must care alot , just try to drift away from him , and dont sit next to him or try to make much convosation , it might be hard but it would hurt more to go through with it again , or he may just have sed that he wouldnt care maybe he likes you and hes just hiding it .x
Hope It Helped Your Situation x
Chloe x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): Well if he said that he wouldn't care if you died (which btw is a very very very STRANGE question to ask, i'd be scared if someone asked me that unless i knew them very very well! ) and now you cut yourself, well if you cut yourself and it leads to your death, then he has won because you did it because he hurt you but he doesn't care that he has.
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A
female
reader, irock1 +, writes (3 June 2009):
 that has happened to me before 2. im also 16. this 1 boy i liked said he didnt care about me. its normal 2 crie. i got over him. its ok just slowly stop talking to him and youll stop liking him slowly.
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A
female
reader, Stars20 +, writes (3 June 2009):
 You need to calm down and know that LIFE GOES ON. It does not end for one single guy! First of all, Why would you want to loose your life for a man? It doesn't matter how hot he may look, you need consider yourself VALUABLE PROPERTY. Once you believe that concept, "I am valuable property", you will start to demonstrate it. Eventually, you will end up teaching others how to treat you. Instead of bursting out in tears, you should go and thank him for being so honest. And yes, for being a self centered creep, who may not even care for himself! A guy you should consider to "chip" off your list. So, why would you want to be with a man like this? Did he prove to be as beautiful in the inside? I don't think so. To loose your life, or injure yourself for someone else IS NOT WORTH IT. He will shrugg it off, date other girls and not even remember you while you decompose seven feet under. Come on now!!! Is it worth it? As he said, you can draw stripes on yourself that he wont care. Is this a guy you really want in your life?! Is he the only guy in this world? NOPE! Do you have a life ahead of you? YES! Look ahead in your future, when you're 21 years old and in college, CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE CUTE GUYS AVAILBLE!!! OMG!! I can't even describe it for you. You can pick them out. Do this for me: Stand up, dry your face(if you're still crying) push those elbows back and lift your head up and say to yourself I AM WORTHWHILE!!! If a stinking imature guy can not appreciate who you are than HE IS NOT WORTH IT. Don't care if he likes you or not. Instead, ignore him, even if you're breaking inside. Time cures pain. You'll see, you'll meet other guys. You'll think back and realize that he was a complete jerk. Start to love yourself first!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): what a jerk!
you don't say that to people even if you really WOULDN'T care if they died
anyway distance helps
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A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (3 June 2009):
 First of all GROW UP!! You don't ask a guy you like "would you care if i died?" what kind of question is that. What do you think you will gain by cutting yourself? All you will gain is a nasty scar as a reminder of an upsetting moment. Also you don't "love him" you maybe obsessed/infatuated with him but love is a shared emotion and clearly this is not a shared feeling.It sounds to me like this guy is a bit of a jerk the best thing you can do is try and be secure in yourself before you even think about a guy. It may sound like im being harsh but as a person who knows people who self harm your reasoning seems almost on the attention seeking side. Maybe you think if he sees that you have cut yourself he may care. It sounds like the best thing you can do is just avoid him hes obviously not into you "i think he likes a girl who is a year older than us" so do yourself the favour learn to be happy in yourself then spend your time finding someone who is not going to make you upset enough to do stupid things.
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A
female
reader, The Shadow's Tears +, writes (3 June 2009):
 Hello,
well for one your still young. its hard to know for sure your "in love" with someone if you only talk to him on the bus, and what he said was insensitive,
i don't agree with cutting yourself, so my advise on that is: try to find better ways of helping your sadness, like i write poetry and draw. maybe you can try that instead? i know this was your first time cutting, but usually when people start cutting, they cant stop. (not saying you'll become a cutter, just stating a fact I've seen)
sweetie, take a time to think, what about him do you think you "love?" do you really know him that well?
how long have you known this gentleman anyways?
i think that this might be a start of a stronger stage of puppy love, i like to call, "the new love spell" because you have strong feeling for someone, but your still you young to really develop a grasp on your feelings.
i think that if you think that your in love with him, tell him that what he said hurt your feelings, and if he acts like he doesn't care, then he's not worth your time anyways.
but, you should really never let a man get you so upset you harm yourself, because there not worth it. trust me! on that one!
maybe you should grasp on, and build a better strength for yourself, you know, "make your skin a little thicker" so if you get hurt again the impact wont be so hard. but i'm not saying push people away! No! i do that and it hurts a lot of people! i'm saying, better prepare yourself, make you mind ready for any attack to the heart, and really look at people for who they are. study them!
i hope this helps and you can pm me if you want to talk more OK?
X: Shadow Tears
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