A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I met my friend nearly 20 years ago. When we first met she was married but the marriage was pretty much over by that time. I had an affair with her that lasted 6 months and its was fantastic. I helped her through the marriage breakup and then she seemed to gradually become more disinterested in me, seeking attention elswhere. Subsequently I became her friend. I've been her friend for 20 years now and we have spent a lot of time together going climbing, walking socialising, in fact she has become a very good friend but I have never lost the feelings of wanting to be more closer to her. I've always wanted her to be happy and welcomed her new relationships and supported her when needed. Recently she broke up with her partner of ten years and my hopes began to rise. Now she has met an old flame and started a new relationship with him over the last year.A recent visit to her, she suggested doing some nude sunbathing in her secluded back garden. I declined the nude bit but she went for it saying 'you've seen it all before anyway'.I'm going crazy thinking about her. I dont understand why she would sunbathe in the nude in front of me. I suspect she only sees me as an old and faithful friend and she doesnt see me as any more than that.I am really at my wits end. I want to be with her and I want to have significance in her life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): for her she is just your friend.
after 20 yrs surely its time to move on instead of wishing there was something there. you guys had your turn - it lasted 6 mnths, then she moved on. you helped her through her divorce,
. in life it is said people enter yours for a reason and for a season. your season has finished ages ago. she has had many men in her life and you keep hoping. why are you wasting such a precious life hoping for something that can and would never be.
its time to move on, old friend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2009): You have it exactly right. She doesn't see you as anything more than an old friend. There's been ample time for something more to develop. That on her part it hasn't means you're out of luck. Move on while you still have your sanity.
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A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 If you fancy her that much, then GO FOR IT. Don't give up. Keep pursuing and wooing her. If she turns you away, at least you'll know where you stand. If she doesn't, you'll be glad you listened to me.
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