A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up in august and he pretty much hates me. i messed up, i lied to him about something big and continued lying even when he found me out. Obviously he was devastated and furious and i really hurt him. he cut all ties with me and completely ignored me but i kept trying to contact him (still lying and trying to convince him i didnt do the thing he hated me for doing)i miss him so much.he has moved on and is happy and in love with someone new but i have so many memories i love and want back. i love him.hes the first thing i think of in the morning and the last at night. i keep busy like everyone advises me to but it doesnt take my mind off him at all. i even volunteered for a charity sky-dive and bunjee jump just to give my brain a rest from him for a few mins. didnt work. i thought about him the whole way down lol.should i contact him to apologise for what i did? actually admitting it and getting rid of any miniscule doubt in his mind forever is scary to me but i just wanna talk to him. i dont think he would respond really, he hates me pretty bad.i know we'll never be together cos of what i did - infact he thinks i'm some kind of psycho lol - but should i contact him like nothing happened (therefor working with the 0.001% chance I could make him believe me)contact him to apologise or just drop off the face of the planet to him?he loved me sssooooooooo much and i devastated him and made him despise me. its the biggest regret of my life. help? hope the lack of detail isnt too confusing!
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female
reader, CharmmyKitty  +, writes (29 March 2008):
 If you really do care about him, maybe you ought to leave him in peace. If you contact him to apologize, you'll just be opening old wounds that probably took a long time to heal for him. It might make you feel better, but I'm sure it would just stir bad memories on his end.
You'll have to accept the fact that you made a mistake, and that you can't take it back. Carry it with you and learn from it, and make sure that you don't do the same thing in your next relationship.
A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (29 March 2008):
If you have said or done something you should not have and hurt someone else in the process then an apology is certainly one of the things to do. While it may not result in him coming back to you, there is very little chance he would unless you do apologise.
The important thing though, is that unless you really mean it, don't do it. Fake sincerity will just make it worse. Also if you are doing it mainly to get him back, even if you mean it it will seem insincere. So only apologise if you mean it and if you do not expect anything in return. Then and only then do you stand a chance that something good might come out of it.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 March 2008):
 An apology is like a balm for a sore and broken heart.
Never under estimate the power of words.
Just come clean and tell him that you are sorry and whatever
happens , just accept the situation.
He may or may not come back to you but you vindicated him and
if he still loves you , he will come back to your side.
That is all you can do for now.
Wait for your sentencing.....
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