A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Theres this guy im into. Lets call him x. we started hooking up last year, but ended things because i was scared of commitment. then x started hooking up with lots of girls and being a huge player. recently i told him that i still have feelings for him, and he told me that he still has feelings for me 2, but cant be in a relationship now, coz he doesnt wana hurt me, coz he wouldnt b able to live with himself then and he knows that if we get together now he will screw it up. he said he wants to be with me, but he needs to change himself first coz he wants me to be 4eva.I think im in love with him and he cud b the one, do you think he's just b*lls****ing me or could it be the real thing??
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female
reader, vsnod  +, writes (7 July 2008):
 I think X already gave you your answer.
"cant be in a relationship now, coz he doesnt wana hurt me"
"he knows that if we get together now he will screw it up"
"he needs to change himself first"
He just isn't ready now. I think the best thing to do is continue on with your life, date other people. It will be hard at first, but things get easier with time. Who knows what the future will bring, maybe you can get back together when he matures a little bit, but for right now, he has made it clear he is having fun and doesn't want to 'settle down'.
A
female
reader, jenk36 +, writes (7 July 2008):
I would tell him I want to take things slowly- see how he reacts then, if he can be bothered to go through all the dating and wooing again he might be sincere.
He really has told you he doesn't trust himself though with is a very negative reaction, blokes see wanting to sleep with you as having 'feelings' for us gals sometimes!
Take it slow- thats the best bit anyway, blokes love the chase....
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