A
male
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*adbrit
writes:I have posted here loads about me and partner, been together over three years, got baby etc, and she left cos feelings are gone, doesnt feel the same, not interested etc. She been at her mums a week, and i stayed at house for issues i have already posted - my home, i pay for it, i maintain it, i have other kids that come to stay alot, if she is leaving me, she is leaving what i provide etc. She cheated on me at the very very end, i found out immediately and we ended two weeks ago and she moved out a week ago. It has carried on between her and him, and i decided to not fight, was better off without, it would never work as other issues i could deal with, but not her cheating, ending things so cheaply, saying she not love me blah blah.Well i didnt contact as i have nothing to say except a text asking when i can see our son. She came to my work and said that she has found somewhere else to live via the social, i said, great news, i am pleased for you, and she said, but it wont be ready for a month, she didnt like it at her mums as it is too smokey, too small etc, so she had to move back in for a while. From me begging her for ages to sort things out, when she came it was obvious i was now looking forward which may have surprised her. I also said i did not want her back in the house under any circumstances. She asked if i had other kids tomorrow as i always do on a saturday, i havent cos i am going to see a friend a couple hundred miles away so said no, she asked why not, i said cos i am going away, she asked if it was to see so and so (male mate in birmingham) i said no, she asked where i was going so i just said "away" and she got arsey and said, "have a good time" in a real "how dare you" voice. So i said "thanks, let me know about the house"She then texted me to say that she needed to get off our tenancy to take another place, the estate agent said she couldnt til it expired in three months and so she is moving back in tomorrow. (i immediately sorted it with agent to get her off tenancy right now)What do i do, i cant stop her moving in but i cant have it. I love her, but now dont like her, want her, but know i can never be with her again, dont really ever want to be, but am at a vunerable stage. I need time alone to heal before i face her in town and about with new bf etc. How can i do that if she is straight back under my roof as my ex gf, now with someone else immediatly etc, having to know when i baby sit she is off with someone else, when her phone texts, it is him etc. I know this is what will happen whereever she lives, but two weeks ago she was all mine, my life my future, my gf, i was her man etc, i cannot face it in my face and why should i How can i go from two weeks ago talking to mates about how to propose to two weeks later her living with me but being someone elses gf??I can handle it if i dont see her, and was planning to avoid her. What is she playing at?
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reader, badbrit +, writes (26 August 2006):
badbrit is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI love her to bits guardian, and would have put up with anything and i did cos i loved who the person i thought she was. Someone who can move on that quick and replace me so easily after three years, and having a slightly handicapped eight month baby etc is not the person i thought she was. I cannot go to another house as my kids coming to stay, and it is over, she said it was over, end of, and has not gone back on that, just needs to stay because it is more comfortable. I have to move on accept it, put my life back together and i can do that, and was doing that with her not being in sight.I cannot do that, as it is me who feels like he has lost everything, if she is right here in sight. I had plans, from ideas here, - back to boxing training, certain nights different mates coming over, occasionally going to see some mates up country etc. I was dumped, told basically to get on with it as she has and now she will do the things stopping me doing that - kipping out of a bag, slumming it, not having my stuff around me etc.I think i am gonna say that if she really cant be at her mums, i will pay for hotel accommodation for her. End of day, whatever it costs, a couple hundred quid, is worth it to allow me to move on as i know how i can do it. Least then i will find out if it is just because her mums is uncomfortable or whether it is as she is regretting what she has done but is not ready to actually say it.
A
male
reader, guardian87  +, writes (26 August 2006):
 Listen, you need room to breathe and think straight. Y not leave her incharge of the house and you go away to a friend's house (who is willing to let u in for a few nights) so that you can think straight of what you really want.
From what I can tell, you really want her back, but really jealous of her current boyfriend and, primarily, annoyed at how quickly she had changed from saying i love you to u, and now to him. I think you need to mainly think about what you really want: a second chance with her, or to move on with your life.
There are two ways of thinking here: 1) there are other fish in the sea, so she isnt so important to me. or 2) She is the only fish that i wish to see. The way you think depends on what you really want, and with that, i feel like you should either deal with her or tell her how u still feel about her.
Best of Luck to you!
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