A
female
age
36-40,
*arbyogill
writes:I was just wondering generally do MOST men cheat?I blame my male friends for making me have this opinion because as lovely as they all are and as much as they love their gfs, they have all cheated at some point and don't seem to think that it is such a bad thing. This has now made me have severe trust issues with guys as silly as that seems but I never want to get too close to anybody due to a fear of getting hurt :(.The fact that my male friends are genuinely nice, normal lads has made me more doubtful... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, darbyogill +, writes (14 April 2009):
darbyogill is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThere's a number of reasons why women and men play a blind eye to cheating such as love, fear of being alone and more likely the feeling that they can't do any better than the relationship they are in, despite deceit. However personally I would never trust a cheating partner but then again I have trust issues anyway... The fact your friend keeps getting away with cheating basically adds more fuel to the fire and enables him to keep doing it which ultimately leads back to my initial thought.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): Yeah, I guess there's sort of a stereotype that a lot of guys cheat. I can't say I'm a knowledgeable reference and statistics person, 'cause I'm not. I don't know where the standings are for which of our gender cheat in reality. What I can say, in great confidence, though, is that I'm sure there are probably quite a lot more apparent, more-loyal men. I think because of that biased character trait that society has really stuck to us, men, that the expectation of how many really do is raised to imaginary heights.Since high school my friend took advantage of his girlfriends and cheated on many of them with one-night stands. Even though they caught him in the act, or the morning after, for some reason they would always go back to him and stay in a relationship.There is that one guy that I am really shy to say is a good friend of mine. His reputation exceeds him, and I don't want people to think because he and I are friends, that I am a straight-up asshole all the time and I cheat or sleep around, 'cause I don't. He's a childhood friend from back in the day. I've known him since he was a goodie two-shoes, but since puberty... eh, nothing stopped him. I'm quite proud to say, I'm not like him in that sense. Never cheated before, probably never will.Women, I have a question for you, though, too. I haven't experienced it before in my life, because I haven't cheated before. I have only heard of it happening a bunch of times to different acquaintances or as I have seen with my friend, first hand. Why do you girls, even though you've caught your boyfriends red handed, do you go back to them so many times? I can understand forgiving them once or maybe twice, but if it's apparent he cheats a lot...? Why do you all put up with the apparent crap that some of the members of our gender put ya'll through; and then go on to forgiving them and back into the relationship again? It's happened many times with his current girlfriend back home in his current relationship. She attends school back in home town, while he and I attend one of the major party schools on the east coast, nearly 2 hours away... She knows he sleeps around at ECU, while at home after different parties, and whenever... He's just disrespectful and crazy... Ya'll put up with it a bunch, it seems, but in the situation where it's apparent the guy will continue to cheat, you go back to him and take the crap... it's an endless cycle.Sorry, if I seem neutral, and neither on the women's side of the "cheating question" or the men's. I'm just putting out my personal opinion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): In my opinion people cheat because they are not happy with how things are going in their life. They usually find someone as broken as themselves. What the person finds in the other makes them feel good about themselves because the other person magnifies what they want to feel. I wouldn’t paint everyone with the same brush and wouldn’t let fear rule my life. Everyone has a different story. Personally I would never cheat. It’s a choice, just like everything else.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 April 2009):
 By MOST what percentage are we talking, 51% OR 99%? If it's on the lower end I'd probably agree with the Baddog (as scary as his picture is). If given a TOTALLY safe opportunity I'll bet 51% would cheat, I also bet that at least 75% of those guys would feel tremendous guilt. But then I'm just 30% sure of my figures.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (12 April 2009):
 A high proportion of men will cheat in the right circumstances where the odds of getting caught are low. Where I live it is common practice for a businessman to take guests after dinner to a private room in a Karaoke bar. There are, of course, beautiful girls there that would be included in the bill that the host pays. You drink, you sing out of tune and chat or dance with the with the girls. At the end of the evening the girls will go back to your hotel with you. I have seen a lot of English and American business guys visiting China or Hong Kong go through this experience for the first time. If they are not familiar with the culture generally they are pretty damn surprised about what is about to happen. These are good, successful, happily married guys in their 30s and 40s, good and loving daddies and yet, out of let's say 40 guys that I've been through this situation with, I can only think of 3 who haven't taken a girl back to their hotel with them. I'm not going making any kind of statement on values here but just as a data point, in my personal experience, 37 out 40 regular, ordinary American and British business guys were prepared to take a Chinese KTV Girl back to their hotel room when the circumstances involved being a long way from home, some alcohol and a little sprinkling of peer pressure. Yes there are SOME genuinely good men out there who won't cheat in any circumstances but for most men the saying holds true that "Men don't need a reason to cheat only a sufficiently good opportunity".
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female
reader, darbyogill +, writes (12 April 2009):
darbyogill is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone for your opinions...I am aware that women are just as bad but I suppose as I am a woman myself I wasn't really thinking of the other side
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): 42 years old married from 22-30 (never cheated) and in two other relationships -3 years and 2 years (and never cheated).You will find an honest loving committed person; they exist. I have been cheated on it hurts, but it is on them and their deal). Hang in there and trust the right person will be there.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 April 2009):
 I won't talk about whether most men or women cheat, because there are many answers about that. I do want to make reference to one specific point: that our poster "never want(s) to get too close to anybody due to a fear of getting hurt".
Unfortunately, if you love and open yourself up to someone, you put yourself in a position of being abused and in the way that hurts the most. There is no getting away from that possibility. However, if you choose not to love anybody out of fear of getting hurt, then you will never be loved. You choose.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): I think we hear so much more about cheating men and women, than we do about faithful couples! Lets face it...Who's gonna read an article...John Dow has been faithful for 20 years now! But the opposite is what people take an interest in. Doesn't matter whether they condone it or not, they want to hear about it. So, it gives us the false belief that society is more screwed up then ever! I want to believe it isn't true!
I want to believe that there are good men and women out there who love thier partners dearly and eternally!
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female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (12 April 2009):
 NO. I know a lot of guys who have never cheated and I also knorw a lot of girls who have cheated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): No i think not.. i have never cheated and Im just an ordinary guy. However 3 of my ex girlfriends have cheated on me. I think women are equally as bad. After all if you think about it, when your male friends cheated on their girlfriends who did they cheat with? Probably girls who where also in relationships.
WOMEN ARE JUST AS BAD!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2009): I have no idea what proportion cheat. But I know lots of men who take their vows seriously and have never cheated. And one who wouldn't have cheated if his wife hadn't cut him off from sex years before.
Your trust issues are understandable. But there are decent guys out there.
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A
male
reader, Specter +, writes (12 April 2009):
You are right boys/men do cheat because they want more, but not all of them, it's a road a boy and girl take a lot but if he loves you a lot and you love him I don't think he'd cheat on you and if he does ask him why he is being a dush and doing stupid things like cheat on a girl who loves him. If you got any question email me here at DearCupid.
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