A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Why do girls think if you do nice things for them, that you like them or want to date them?Honestly this question never been so true for me right now. I dated a girl for a year and we broke up 18 months ago, she knew I loved her deeply. I was hurt when she started dating a new guy, I was jealous and she knew about it. Well months pass with her dating this new guy I was fine, we were friends through this time. Now I realize I have been over this girl for a while, I was just confused or even worried that she still liked me in some way or form. Fast forward to now, she is going through one hell of a life challenge. A parent got cancer, her boy friend dumped her, got told she has very little hope in getting into a college she wants. So at first it was the college thing, I didn't do much. Then the boy friend dumped her, I was like okay so what. Then her parent got cancer and is in for surgery. I was like I am stepping in to help her and cheer her up. I brought her out on a night on the town just going out having a few drinks and laughs as friends. We flirted a lot, joked even more, I loved it because I had fun and she enjoyed herself a lot and even asked me to come dance with her this coming weekend, I declined. Then well, we were talking the other day over coffee and she said "I want to say I had a lot of fun with you and all. I really enjoy the closeness (we were inches away from each others faces while flirting) but I am not ready for something like that right now. If I date someone now and I finally get into the college I want I will dump them. I will risk losing a good guy like you and I am not willing to". I told her I wanted to just make her feeling better and that I didn't want her to think anything more of it, she said she understood, but still went on to tell me she didn't want to hurt me if I did and so forth. I know I flirted a bit much with her and she admits it, but why would she go into so much depth into something like that? Why would a girl say that?
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broke up, flirt, jealous Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): She is vulnerable right now so don't take anything she says too seriously.
Give her you heart again and you'll be doubly hurt when things get back to normal for her and she says "Well, uh, I was just vulnerable then but you're a terrific guy and someone else will be lucky to get you."
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): I think she was probably trying to be straight with you. OK so you know you are not interested anymore, but with the mega flirting maybe you gave the impression you were up for more. Be friends, but friends done flirt, if they don't want to give mixed messages.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 Because if you take her out and flirt a bit much with your faces inches away from hers, she'll think this is probably not just a friendly attention but you are hitting on her. What else could she think ?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 Well look at it from her point of view she knew that you were hurt when you both broke up and then she hits a hard patch and gets dumped and then there you are taking her out and flirting with her, what else would you expect her to think? She obviously cares for you deeply and she read from you flirting that you still had feelings for her, therefore she set the record straight so that she wasnt misleading you in anyway.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011): I reckon she took you kindness as u liking her which u obviously know but also i think that coz of all this bad things whats been happeneing to her she just wants a shoulder to cry on and someoen to be there for her like you ,so she mite only say this thining thts what u wanted and she just wants sumone to want her and care for her in any way sumone can hope ive helped:)
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