A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of one year has a guy best friend. They've been friends for years but ever since she and I started the flirting phase (about a week before we got together), he's been a real d-bag to me. Of course, I know he wants her himself but she's with me, ya know? I've confronted my girlfriend about this a couple times over the course of the last year but she says that he's just looking out for her and they've known each other since the third grade. And if I have a problem with him being around all the time, then we can't continue to date.Naturally, my first instinct was to end the relationship but I had a feeling the first time I confronted her (four months into i) that we could make it. Now it's been a whole year and her best friend still hasn't let up. I've noticed as well that when she hangs out with me and he knows it, he calls her every half hour to see what she's up to and all that shit. What's worse is that whenever she and I get into a fight, she goes running to him and suddenly, he's this pathetic knight-in-shining-armor with MY girlfriend crying on HIS shoulder. It pisses me off!I've talked to my girlfriend about the possibility of setting him up with someone (maybe one of my own single, female friends) but she says that he's not the blind date type. He would want to date someone he knows and then I made a mistake by telling her that means he wants her. She told me to not be ridiculous, that they're just friends. That started another argument but basically, we're seniors in college now and I was planning to propose to her the end of the school year; just before our two year anniversary. But if her damn "best friend" keeps up with his shit, I can't do this anymore!What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (13 September 2010):
Dump her and find a girl who doesn't have a jealous guy friend. It doesn't seem like a situation you can handle. Many would also say that you don't have the right to break up best friends just because you are jealous yourself.
He's important to her and you can see that. But you don't seem important to him. Trying to win her heart should not involve trying to win his. You should have gone with your initial instincts and ended things. I'm just not sure how this will "get better". When you marry her you will be marrying him as well btw :P
But at the same time, its your girl and maybe you should trust her more. You are the one sleeping with her, not him. If she runs to him crying when u leave the toilet seat up, then isn't that a good thing? I mean he will know how to calm her down at least. Less work on your end if u know what I mean.
I guess you need to think about what you really want.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (13 September 2010):
 Your girlfriend needs to chose which one of you she really wants to be with, and stop hiding behind the whole "friend thing". This guy is sabotaging her romantic relationships and not only is she letting him, but she doesn't seem to see how controlling and manipulative he is. Calling every half hour? That's obsessive! I think your g/f enjoys the attention she's getting from the both of you and thinks she can keep the two of you. It isn't going to work and I wouldn't propse until she sets new ground rules for her friend and stops allowing him to have so much ownership in her life. He's basically running the show here, not you.
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