| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I knew things between my ex and I were changing the weekend he went away on vacation snowmobiling for 5 days with his friends. I didn't live with him at the time, and the night before his trip he yelled at me because I didn't have the oufit he was going to wear in the morning laid out (I had packed his clothes for him for his trip). Then, on the trip he got mad and said that I didn't call him enough like his friend's wives and girlfriends did. (I called him at least once a day and I was working full time and just assumed that he would be really busy). Anyway, the night he was going to get back at like 1 in the morning he said he expected me to be at his house when he got home but I lived with my parents about an hour away and I had work early in the morning. I just said I would see him the next day. Well he got so mad, so I went to his house and waited for him but I was so nervous and scared. He didn't get home until 3 am and was not saying a word because he was so mad at me. The next day at my work he showed up with flowers which caught me by surprise and I just broke down and cried after he left because I felt like he put me through a lot of turmoil that weekend. I felt like I was never enough for him. Anyway, I eventually broke up with him, but I'm just wondering if his behavior was normal or emotionally abusive? I just need to figure out parts of our relationship so that I don't feel like I was the one with the problem like he always said.
View related questions:
broke up, emotionally abusive, flowers, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BadAsh6705  +, writes (27 November 2007):
 Please don't let this guy make you feel like you did anything wrong! I used to be in an emotionally abusive and controlling relationship and at the time I didn't even realize it because I was so convinced that he was trying to "help" me and that there was something wrong with me because he put me down so much.He obviously didn't see what a great person you are, so that is his loss! Another thing you should watch for is the tendency to carry some of these feelings on to another relationship. I noticed later that I would be afraid that my partner would react a certain way and find myself hiding things from them because I was so used to watching everything I did around my ex.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (27 November 2007):
There is NO doubt in my mind that your ex bf was emotionaly abusing you. No doubt at all. You were not to blame. He is an ABUSER, and thats what they do, they blame EVERYONE and ANYONE around them, as long as it is not thereself. Please please please do not blame yourself for this. It is not your fault at all. And also do not let this affect your view of yourself. You deserve so much more, you deserve respect and a healthy relationship which you did not have at all wiht your ex bf.
I suggest you visit this website, When Love Hurts:
http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/
Its about love, respect and abuse. I hope it will give you sme understanding as to what went on in your past relationship, and what makes a healthy one, and hoepfuly you wont fall into another abusive relationship again.
Never again accept what your ex bf did, its emotional abuse. Good on you for leaving him! Its a hard thing to do. So proud that you could do that for yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): I'd say so. He overreacted with your minor actions which woudln't even be considered problems with many people. plus my god he can't pack h is own clothes, nd then throws a tantrium cause you 'didn't do it right' ?? he's someone i would deffffffintely try to avoid, if you get back with him he'll walk over you again cause he know he can and my end up being more trouble for you. Be careful.
...............................
|
