A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Two weeks ago at a party, i get very drunk and high which i completly take responsiblility for and understand it was a stupid thing to do. I realised it was a mistake when I felt as though I was about to pass out and everything went blurry so I sat down on my own far away from everyone where I shut my eyes. I woke up to see this guy that i had met briefly beforehand sitting beside me just talking to me although I wasn't responding. Everything was spinning and i couldn't think straight but when he started touching me I said no. He didnt listen to me and forced me give him a hand job and a blow job. I kept trying to pull away and I repeated that I didnt want to do this but he wouldn't listen, he was older and stronger and I was so confused as to where I was. I take full responsability for what happened because I put myself in a vulnerable position and I know that he was wrong but it was ultimately my fault. Is it normal that I feel so angry towards that person even though I realise it was in many ways my fault?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much, that has rly helped clear things up in my mind! its just that i got up the courage to tell one of my friends, but she doesn't rly believe me. Well she believes it happened but doesn't believe that i made it clear enough that i said no, she thinks that i might have imagined that part because i was drunk and everything... but i am sure of it!! i know that i made it clear, i KNOW that i said no, but i can't prove that to her. Now she has gone telling people that I talk shit... I'm rly hurt in her lack of trust, that night was totaly out of character so why would she not believe me?? should I just move on or should I confront her?
A
female
reader, perkypanda +, writes (22 March 2007):
If you said "No, no, no" you were not responsible. This guy preyed on you. He probably does this at every party he goes to because he is a sick individual.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): Hey! I have had a similar experience, and 1) IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, dont ever say that again. Ive felt all the same feelings of It was my fault etc... (I was 14 at the time it all happened, i was out at a club but not all that drunk) 2) YES be mad, and you might want to think about talking to a school counselor or something if you are thinking about it a lot, it might help. But other than that, ya, be mad and dont try to hide your feelings. Legally speaking, rape is the penetration of the mouth, vagina or anus with a penis, that is not consentual.
So this was rape. Your state of mind/drunkness has nothing to do with it.
Hope you feel better soon, it will be ok, dont worry too much if you can help it!
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A
male
reader, Dos_Vinci +, writes (22 March 2007):
 If everything happened just as you said then you were date raped and you have every right to be angry.. no, pissed. You should get the biggest baddest guys you know to beat his ass. Oh and shut up with the "It's my fault" theory. You got drunk, yes. you got high, yes. But you didn't willingly engage in sexual acts with this guy.
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