A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, hope you’re having a good day? :)I haven’t posted on here for a very long time, so apologies if I forget some rules.I was at the bus stop the other day waiting for my usual bus to get home in the early evening. A gentleman was there before me, and smiled at me as I sat down. I’ve seen him a couple of times before (when I was new to the area I even asked him for directions and which bus to take etc), all at the same stop, so I assume he has a similar journey to me. I’m awful at judging age from a glance! But I can’t imagine he is younger than forty – salt and pepper hair and the fashion of an older man. I got on the bus with my suitcase and didn’t think much of him until he came and sat opposite me at the front of the bus, where he got a book out and started reading. Throughout the journey he kept on looking up from his page and smiling at me, and I got the strong feeling that he wanted to talk but couldn’t quite get a word out. I felt a little awkward but not uncomfortable. Eventually I arrived at my stop and had to get off, so I exited the bus and started towards my apartment. I realised that my shoe lace had come undone, so I suddenly stopped to do it up and the gentleman walks right on by me – he had gotten off as well without me even noticing! I heard a small, awkward cough from him as he walked on, and when I had finished doing up my lace I continued to walk behind him, until he abruptly turned a corner and went his own way. The entrance to my apartment was straight ahead only a few doors away at that point, so I started rummaging through my bag for my keys, and when I couldn’t find them I put my bag on the ground to have a better look. As soon as I do, I get a tap on the shoulder and I turn to face (of course) the gentleman who had apparently walked down a different street just a few seconds ago. Here is how the dialog played out:Man: Hi, hello (nervous laugh), I uh, sorry I don’t normally do this, but I’ve seen you around a few times, and I was wondering if you would mind coming out to dinner with me at some point?Me: (bear in mind I was a little shell-shocked at his approach) Um, yeah hi, that’s fine don’t apologise! Sorry what’s your name?Man: Oh right, yes I’m -------, but if you like you can call me -----.Etc, etc. We had a small chat and a few laughs, and I said I’d consider going on a date with him, but probably not for a while as I was busy – which I am – and he offered me his number to contact him when I become available. I know this a somewhat boring question/post, but I just want to know what other people think about this… I kind of want to go on the date, and then again I kind of don’t want to go on the date. He was quite nice to talk to, and had very good manners, but his age intimidates me a little. I don’t know him at all, and he doesn’t know me… he has no idea what I’m like, and yet he wants to date me? I don’t want to sound self-centred, but I did look quite nice that day, mainly because I’d had an interview in London and was ‘dressed to impress’. Are all first dates arranged outside of the internet like this? Sudden and out of the blue?Thank you everyone! I hope this question isn’t too dull or silly!K.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2016): I agree with Honeypie this is creepy. A decent guy would chat to you and get to know you NOT secretly follow you to your front door. Now this stranger that's much older knows where you live. My only advice is to take very good care of yourself. If you have any concerns however trivial they seem to you then contact the police. His behaviour is not right and quite intimidating.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (4 November 2016):
 Well I guess its 50/50. He could be some psychotic creep or he could just be a bit Hugh Grant in Notting Hill. If you decide to call him up. Just make it somewhere casual and open, let people know where you are going, check in with a friend every now and then and be very mindful of what situation you may be getting your self into by accepting offers to go back to his or in his car etc. Sorry for sounding like your mum, but we sisters need to look out for each other regardless of where we may be in the world. Just have you wits about things till you get to know a whole lot more about him.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 November 2016):
 Go for it what have you got to lose. Maybe he was plucking up the courage to talk to you because off the age difference. Meet in a public place and see how it goes. You have nothing to lose. If you don't feel a spark then just be honest with him.
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A
female
reader, Barnes66  +, writes (3 November 2016):
 I get a creepy vibe from this too.If you decide to meet him, then just make sure you meet in netrual public place with your own transportation and let a friend or relative know were you're going. Keep us updated OP.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2016): You've already accepted the date and you both travel on the same bus regularly. So you've pretty much given him a positive response. I guess the encounter is no different than an online encounter; only I feel a bit uncomfortable with the thought that he followed you. To be honest, I don't really like the idea at all.
If you have reservations or a gut feeling; I might suggest you go with your gut. If you insist on going out, maybe you might want to change it from dinner to a coffee date. Pick the place and ask him to meet you there. Take a cab there and leave in a cab. You may have been a little too friendly and set yourself up to have to follow-through. The only thing that really messed it up, was his sudden appearance.
That creeps me out too!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 November 2016):
 Honestly, your story gave me the creeps.
He didn't talk to you on the bus but WATCHED you. He got off at the same bus stop (probably to see where you live or engage in a conversation - which WOULD have been WAY more appropriate at the bus stop or on the bus). And he waits till you are ACTUALLY in a vulnerable position, bend over a purse on the ground, to talk to you.
How is that NOT creepy? No matter how handsome and "gentleman like" he looks?
There is doubt in your head as to whether you REALLY want to go out with him and I would LISTEN to that little voice.
And really, what is a guy in his 40's doing chasing a young woman in her early 20's like that?
Still CREEPY. Sorry.
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