A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:*OP's own title*Ok. I'm not sure how to do or say this. It's too hard for me to even talk about it. Writing it I think I'm ok. A year ago I was in a relationship with a guy a year and a half older than me. Kissing was as far as we'd ever went before. Then one day outta the blue he asks for sex. I said no, but he was persistent, he had me pinned against the a wall and tried undressing me. I struggled but he hit me. There was no way I was gonna have sex with him, I was and still am way to young, and I don't want to get pregnant as a teenager. He had my top off when I kicked him in the nuts, he went down like a rock, and I grabbed my top and ran for it. I ran to my friend "Shelly"'s house and told her everything, we tried getting the cops after this guy but there was no proof.I never saw or talked to the guy again but I did manage to get a restraining order in place. Now a year later I'm with a new, much more gentlemanly guy, he's too shy to do much more than put his arm around me. We were at a dance once and one of his buddies tried to get him to scope me and my bf decked him. Still I remembered what happened when his buddy did this. Shelly pulled me outta there to get a drink. She thinks I should tell him about what happened, It's been four weeks and I haven't told him, I'm worried if I don't "Shelly" will. I tried to forget about it, and put it behind me. I'm worried that telling my bf will ruin us because he'll be even more shy, and he'll think I'm a slut. Which I'm not, I had no idea my ex was like that. "shelly" says you shouldn't have secrets in relationships, but I think it's best left in the past. I'm so happy with my new bf, I trust him, but I'll always keep my guard somewhat up and our parents approve. I don't want to ruin it by telling him but will I ruin it by not telling him? Do I tell him? or are secrets best left secret? Please help. :'(
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female
reader, crissyj89 +, writes (14 April 2010):
It is too early in the relationship for you to tell him this. No offense is meant when I say this, but what you have is not a very serious relationship, as you are both young and unlearned. High school relationships are hardly ever serious.
I had an incident similar to this in my life, and I told very few people. I am currently dating a guy and we are very serious about each other, and I told him what had happened to me, but we had been dating for a considerable time when I told him. This is the kind of thing you dont want to tell a guy real soon because you cant always judge if he can handle that information.
Tell "shelly" that some secrets are meant to be withheld until the correct time, and it's not her secret to tell, so she should respect your decision and keep quiet.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 No, don't tell him, and make it *very* clear to Shelly that she should keep her mouth shut, too. Ya, you probably want to avoid secrets when you're married. When you're 15 and dating, there absolutely should be secrets. The very fact that Shelly's threatening to tell should give you all the information you need about how well teenagers are able to sit on something juicy.
If you're still with this guy in a year, that might be a different story. Sit on it until then.
And by the way, well done at taking care of yourself! Sorry you couldn't get him arrested, but the most important thing is that you stopped him cold.
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A
female
reader, sweetspicy +, writes (14 April 2010):
 I think you should tell him when you're ready to tell him and when you can trust him enough to take something like that to the grave. Not because you are pressured but because you want to share something with him. You should also consider talking to Shelly about how this is not gossip and to keep it just between the both of you. She may know of what you went through but really she did not experience it and doesnt completely understand how you feel. p.s. grab some pepper spray and keep it in your purse
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (14 April 2010):
 No dont tell him hes just a kid he doesnt need the drama what will telling him acomplish. kno guy wants to know something like that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): If you're not having sex with your current boyfriend, I don't see any need to tell him. If you are ever ready to share that with him, do so. After you are both much more comfortable with each other, you can tell him about the attempted rape.
He should know, but not until you are closer.
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