A
male
age
41-50,
*atelife
writes:I have a question about my first kiss. It happened some years ago. Here's some backstory: I'd met this girl in ychat, and we just started talking. Turns out we had a lot in common. We hit it off. We arranged a meeting. Anyway, that night(Halloween), we hung out at the local mall, went with her and her family trick-or-treating, etc. That night, when I was going to leave for home, she walked me out. I asked her if i could kiss her. And she kissed me. It was fast, sudden, and with tounge. It seemed real sudden and abrupt, but being my first kiss, I thought that was how they were supposed to be.I called her some days later, and she said she wasn't interested in me, and that the kiss was out of pity. I was crushed. And after she said she needed me...The kiss then felt all wrong. I felt like I'd been molested. Is it normal to feel this way? AAny thoughts or advice on this?
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male
reader, hatelife +, writes (15 April 2010):
hatelife is verified as being by the original poster of the question @C. Grant, Polaroid93, and my anonymous female responder:thx for the great advice, I was afraid no one would know where i was coming from. You guys rule!
A
male
reader, hatelife +, writes (15 April 2010):
hatelife is verified as being by the original poster of the question@RAINORFIRE: Really? No offense to you, but I put more value on things like that. And for someone who hasn't dated(that was my first date and only date thus far) it's not easy for me to "get over".
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A
female
reader, Polaroid93  +, writes (14 April 2010):
Don't let her knock your confidence I've met plenty of guys who aren't great kissers but that you had the confidence to ask her for a kiss will make up for that
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): I totally felt the same way when I was mouth raped by my ex boyfriend. I saw in movies how romantic kisses looked, and I wanted my first to be amazing, but I ended up getting a tongue forced into my mouth and on top of that he had HORRIBLE breath. I thought maybe next time he'd do a more romantic kiss and he ended up doing the same thing. I broke up with him (for various reasons) and found a better guy who likes slow, soft, romantic kisses. I'd say it's normal, and sad, because my current guy said he was molested the same way as you and I were. I share your pain and hope your next girl will take it slower and with class. :)
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 It's not at all unreasonable for you to feel that way. Kissing done well can be remarkably intimate. And with anything intimate, you want it be be 'right' - you want it to be with someone you care about, you want the circumstances to be appropriate -- you didn't get any of that.
As for getting over it, first, someone who tells you it was a mercy kiss is a bitch, so no loss there. Second, recognize that you learned a lesson about intimacy that will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (14 April 2010):
 hmmm i dont kno whats normal any more but you kno thats something you really need to get over, time to move on
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