A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I went on a couple of dates with a guy 18 months ago but he wanted the relationship to move faster than me at the time so I cooled it right off. We had both just got divorced and I wanted space to process things. We stayed in touch from time to time - just emails or the odd text. He had a relationship with someone else for a while and I was genuinely happy for him. I haven't been in a relationship so feel I am at peace with everything now. About 4 months ago he got in touch with me and we started chatting he was keen to meet up so I agreed. He said he had always wanted us to be together. We had a lovely dinner and we agreed to see each other but take things slowly. Yet again though he started really pushing me to go away with him for the weekend and when I hesitated he said he felt my heart wasn't in it - I felt like he was analysing everything I said and did. He just would not let it go and we argued because his assumption about me was wrong. I started to wonder whether he had not given himself time to heal from his divorce (his wife left him for someone else so I understand he might be insecure). In the end I said I did not want to go backwards emotionally and asked him not to contact me - and he hasn't since. I feel really sad because I truly believe we could have a great relationship as we get on in so many ways. He lives quite a long way away from me (about an hour by car) and so it is hard to instigate any contact 'by accident' and I think he has given up on me / us anyway. I sent a general email to a whole load of friends over the summer and included him on the email but there was no reply. He is quite a stubborn and yet determined person so I don't know what to do - but would like to get back with him. Should I try and if so how?!
View related questions:
divorce, insecure, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (4 September 2014):
 He doesn't take directions very well so why even try to reconnect? It's just asking for problems.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 September 2014):
I would say that this is a man who wants more than you do. He was very keen, and you weren't so keen. When you started with contact again, again he was keen and you weren't so. So, he probably has moved on as he may assume (wrongly) that you're playing games.
I think he's an hour away anyway, so perhaps it's not a problem to let this one go and find someone else who you do get on with, and feel more comfortable with.
This man isn't the right one for you.
...............................
|
