A
male
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*reenman
writes:My g/f has just dumped me. Last week i said she didn't make me happy as she has acted uninterested in me, always out with friends and family and nothing happening in bedroom.She was shocked and said that she was happy and unaware we had problems. Two days later she called me back, very angry, and said 'you are right, you have made me aware of our problems, and I agree' - it's over. She also said " i can't give you anymore than I am already"I am devastated, shocked and this has all backfired on me. I didn't want to split but to improve things but Ive handed her a list of faults myself that she was unaware of and ive been dumpedWas what i said that bad? I am gutted and wished i hadn't opened my big mouth, Im kicking myself. How can she go from happy to unhappy in two days?She insists it's the end of the road. Was our relationship cracked underneath.? Why hasn't she come back and said i hear what you say, lets try again ? which is what i would say if it was vice versaplease, any help grateful Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): Sorry for this bad experience. I recommend trying again in the way Celeste said in her last paragraph......good luck
A
male
reader, davie  +, writes (7 November 2006):
I think what you did was the right thing, except for the part when you said she didn't make you happy. It is one thing to point out a few problems but saying she didn't make you happy is quite a mssive statement.
From what you have said it does sound like even if you had taken a different approach that the outcome may have been the same. It sounds like she isn't interested in giving anything more than she already is.
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A
female
reader, Celeste  +, writes (7 November 2006):
 I think the problem was the way that you approached the subject. As you said yourself, you just handed it to her, without any sort of warning or hints that something was wrong. The reason that she dumped you, in my opinion, is because the way that you presented these ideas to her made her think that there was no way that they could be resolved. Also, she probably felt like inadequate, judging from some of her wording in the quotes that you have written.
You should have approached this completely differently. Instead of dumping it all on her, you should have made suggestions, like, going out together more often, spending more time together. If you don't tell her that there is a problem, then how is she supposed to know? Maybe she felt like you were drawing the curtains on your relationship, and that there was nothing that she could have done anyway to save the situation.
Get in touch, and apologise about the way that you voiced your concerns. Find a way to interpret your ideas better to her, and she may forgive you.
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