A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some help. Recently I started talking and flirting with this guy online and he lives about 3.5 hrs from me. He saw my pictures and thought I was hott but he didn't have any up. We talked for awhile and I was 'charmed' by his personality. He eventually posted some pictures on his page and I thought he was really gorgeous too. It was like he worked hard to win my attention/affections and would flirt and was really sweet to me. We would meet up online at different times even when he'd go out of town to another time zone. We started *kissing and cybering*. I asked him for his personal email so we could chat off the site because sometimes it wasn't working but he didn't seem interested in that.I would write him these letters that were sexy of things I wanted and thought of to do with him and things I wanted him to do with me. He would sometimes ask for them and seemed to really enjoy it.Then things started getting kind of weird/bad. I heard ppl say he would flirt with other girls when I wasn't around. He said he was there for fun and didn't want things to be too serious between us. Now I wonder if *fun* means he is just into me because of my pictures (though they aren't sexy or anything like that) and the cybersex. That might also explain why he just talks to me on the site and didn't share his personal email! This girl told me he would brag about all these different girls even from other parts of the state (I assume that was me) liking him.The thing is I like him so much! I want to be more than friends and more than just cyber/sexual buddies. I also want him to respect me....do you think he does? what do I do?I have seen him on cam and know of one of his friends irl so I know he's real
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 Well, he enjoys the cybersex, but (and it's a very big 'BUT") he did tell you he just wanted fun and doesn't want to get serious with you. Not only that, he also brags about the other girls he's interacting with - oh, and the small (not!) matter of him refusing to give you his personal email; plus I suppose you haven't met him in person, have you?
Given all this, what more proof do you need that he really isn't worth pinning all your hopes on? You're obviously not going to get anywhere with this one.
What Bernard has told you is right on target......I hope you'll stop wasting your precious time and energy on him and try to meet someone who lives nearer you and who will show some real interest in getting to know you!
A
female
reader, So confused 2 +, writes (1 July 2011):
 You seem like a nice, pretty girl. Although cyber-relationships are new age, some rules still apply. If you chase, he will run. Don't be overly aggressive. You have asked for email address and didn't give it to you. There is a reason for that. Don't push or chase him off. Make your self scarce and do NOT frequent the chat room as often. Then when you happen to appear in the same room then casually tell him hi and vaguely flirt with him. Then move on to having a conversation with someone else about something nonromantic. This may take a few times of you not being the aggressor. If he has any intentions of having a futher relationship with you, he will pursue you. He apparently likes the thrill of conquering woman. You have taken that away. He knows he can have you if he wants you. Make him work for you. If he doesn't, then why would you want someone who doesn't feel the same way. He has spent time with you and apparently finds you attractive. He may just simply not want anything more right now. If so he has that right. Do not become fixated on him. There are far too many others out there. Your self confidence is just as attractive as your appearance. Men can read your self-confidence even through computer keys! :)
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