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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I feel like a complete mug! I got with this guy, from day 1 he chased me and I had never had a boyfriend before so I was flattered by the attention, automatically we talke more and more, he seemed more and more interested and it was becoming clear to everyone, this all happen christmas time last year and the early months of this year, suddenly he stated that he wasnt up for commitment and whatever and i stupidly was too attatched to say no to casual sex, it didn't really mean anything to me and i guess i painted up the idea of being with him and i got attatched to that. The thought of having what we have was exciting and I didn't lovehim and to be honest I don't regret him, i Just regret the way he treated me and how I put up with it. He was my first everything, and he tried to call it off in august, obviously a part of me was hurt but i was like Ok fine and I bounced back easily enough, then at college where i see him everyday he started to text me again and initiate things, i missed him so again stupidly i went along with it, now as in recently he called it off again and everything has ended up really messy. When i strip everything back i know i didnt love him and he didnt mean as much to me as i thought he did, it was more of the idea of him. This doesnt make it any easier to move on, i seem to find no nice guys, i try to throw myself into work at college but the choices of universities are stressing me out everything is becoming too much... help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (25 November 2011):
 Hi there!
This feeling is overwhelming you. Your ex seems to be playing games which has exhausted you out.
You may feel you dont find "nice guys" but trust me nice men are out there looking for nice girls. Its just a matter of time in meeting them. Dont lose faith just because one guy treated you badly.
I advise you confide in a close friend/family member for the emotional support because getting over someone is not always so easy. It takes time.
Your doing the right thing by focusing on whats important right now, which is your studies.
What i advise is start of by making a list of the goals you have for your life. You mentioned university, is there any in particular university you want to attend? list them in order and see if you have any chance getting into them. I am sure one on your list will accept you!
Hope this helps!
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (25 November 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps in future, when you meet new men you are inerested in, just keep it casual - no sex - so it doesn't become complicated.
You first need to find a guy - when you are ready to date - who treats you well and with respect and dignity, and who you have a lot in common with.
You might have jumped into the sex too early, with the last boyfriend and perhaps that's why it was a friends with benefits type of liaison. Not what you probably want.
Now doesn't really seem a good time for a relationship for you, as you have the BIG decision to make, of which university you would like to attend next year. And that's a much more important thing to consider than who to go out with.
We are really talking about your future here, aren't we? So the decision can't be taken too lightly. And whatever you do, don't rush the decision either - just to get it over with.
Your Number One priority right now is which university to study at next year and which university provides the courses you most want to study.
Relationships of any sort, come second to that.
One thing at a time.
So first off, sort out the university issue. Then and only then - when you are ready - have a think about if you even want a relationship at all!
Keeping in mind, that any relationship could negatively affect your studies. Especially, when things go wrong as they often do. So more food for thought.
You have some serious thinking to do now. So DON'T delay it any longer - the year is nearly over.
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