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I want to watch porn with him, but can't get comfortable enough!

Tagged as: Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 23 January 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I used to be dead set against porn when me and my partner first got together. That was 7 years ago. Now that I have grown up and gotten older, I realize it is not so bad, and that I actually enjoy it. i dont obsess over the peopl in the movies, Its just used as an aid for pleasure. My husband has always watched it by himself, and i would love for us to be able to enjoy it together. But I cant get past this uncomfortable feeling of not being able to let loose infront of him. There is no question in my mind that he will enjoy it, I just cant seem to get in the right mindset. I will have great naughty and sexy dreams, and I want to enact them on him for the pleasure, but again, I just cant get past this uncomfortable feeling. And I would be doing it for myself too, not just my husband. How do I let my inner freak out of the closet without blushing? lol

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2012):

Miamine agony auntPPS: My guy took me to Amsterdam, and we picked some sexy movies together... it was really nice because the shop was packed with couples, men and women together choosing their sexy films. In that country porn is not something that only men do, but something that partners can do together. Very different to the usual picture of ungrateful or sad man choosing porn over women.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2012):

Miamine agony auntFirstly I'll declare I'm pro-porn, I've found it useful in many ways and recommend in tons of ladies. To dislike porn is fine and OK. To want to understand it is also fine and OK.

Now to your issue. You want to let out your inner freak.. Well damn lady, good for you. This is your partner, your soulmate, nothing is should be hidden and nothing should be forbidden. If he is your husband, then when you took vows, two bodies became one.

But it's hard to go from slut to virgin all in one day. Talk to him, he would love to understand you. Women are confusing and magical to men. He will help you if he knows the problems he is facing. You don't need porn, porn is like icing on the cake, but if you want to indulge with him, then ask him to get some soft porn that is women friendly. You can start by watching things that are only slightly sexy but make you aroused, once you feel comfortable with that the more sexy things won't seem so bad. But again, you and him can just stick to the soft stuff, usually you see naked people but the sex organs are not shown in detail. There are also sexy cartoons, easier to watch because they are funny and they don't involve real people

The most important thing.. don't sit and worry on your own.. your husband is there, he loves you, he wants to understand you, he wants you and him to be happy and have a good sex life... always TALK TALK TALK and together as a team you can fix anything.

How do you talk to him about this.. very simple "Baby, I'm interested in the sexy things you watch, but they make me feel shy and embarrassed.. what do you suggest".. that's enough to make him the happiest man in the world.

Good luck..

PS: Day my guy (ex) found out that I liked porn.. wow, he went absolutely wild.. after that, nothing was forbidden and hearts and minds were totally open and connected. There were no secrets and nothing I could not say, do or ask. I hope it works out for you as well as it worked for me :)

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A female reader, KittieS United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2012):

KittieS agony auntIt's a really difficult yet interesting question!

I was also against porn, then I watched a film myself - and found it quite a turn on, changed my whole view of porn.

I've been with my boyfriend about five months, and have often thought I would quite like to watch it with him (although feel a bit weird watching what he's used before me - not sure why, just do) but would like to introduce it to the bedroom once in a while, I also am a little nervous for a number of reasons - will he want to watch it all the time, will he then not "make love" to me - sometimes we as girls don't want our men to just be all about the mechanical side of sex although i know that sex isn't the same for men for us.

I think as hard as it is, talk to him - I've tried to casually bring it up - but mine isn't that intuitive about these things! But try to talk to him, and remember and remind him that fantasy is fantasy!

I think most men, I'm sure the guys will correct me! Dont have insight to the imagination we have as women and if you draw him into your world he will be shocked, amazed and at ore with you - if porn helps you enjoy him more he's going to love it, don't be scared to let yourself go I know it's difficult but I think we worry as ladies way too much.

From what I understand, the most sexy thing a woman can do is enjoy having sex with a man and letting herself go completely

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A male reader, Mark_25_ United Kingdom +, writes (23 January 2012):

Mark_25_ agony auntIt's just a case of you getting the courage to do it. I can only speak from my point of view, but I would be in the same boat as your husband - watching my girlfriend completely let herself go in that situation would be incredibly sexy for me. Despite the length of your relationship, I'd imagine that you're still slightly worried about what he'll think of you "letting loose", you're totally right, I think he'll love it, and the more wild you get with it the more he'll enjoy it. That's the way it works for a lot of guys.

I hope that sort of helps!

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