A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i've been having an affair with a married man. he is now divorcing his wife and i found out he is seeing a younger woman. i followed him home from work the other night and he ended up going to her place. i want to confront her and tell her what a jerk he is but at the same time i love him and don't want to loose him. what should i do ?
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female
reader, Rosy  +, writes (30 November 2009):
it doesnt matter about her, she'l find out eventually! You should do what you want to tell her and dump the useless muppet jerk! and you should have realised he was a jerk when he started an affair with you. Dump him, let him be, he'l get what he deserves and carry on with your own life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): let me TRY to be kind. you wrote in a few days ago and was given good advice. now you want to take it further by HUMILIATING yourself. it shows you have no scruples and that in fact you are used to behaving in an underhanded manner as always. at least his wife of 28 years is getting rid of him, thank goodness. the day her divorce is finalised then she can start the rest of her life. as for you, well, what goes around comes around. in fact you seem to be a mascot for mistresses everywhere- the what not to do when you are a mistress!!!!!!!!!!!! a tad bit pathetic and amoral don't you think. ENOUGH , leave this man alone. he has chosen and it is not you. he has chosen his new young 30 something lover. try behaving like a decent adult and stop with your underhandedness, although this is all you are used to. re evaluate your life and see what you have become.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (30 November 2009):
 Lose him? You never had him. He was someone else's husband and is now seeing a younger woman...he was never "yours" and from the looks of it, never will be. As his mistress, he has no obligation to remain faithful to you; fidelity was his obligation to his WIFE and you helped him break his vows. Haven't you heard the expression "if he/she cheats WITH you, he/she will cheat ON you"? Payback is a bitch, ain't it? Just leave this jerk and the new woman alone, accept your responsibility in creating your circumstance, and move on with your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): You want to confront this girl and tell her what a jerk he is. Why? So she will stay away from him, and you will have him for yourself? Unfortunately, I doubt that would work. This guy would most likely feed her some sweet-talk line about how it is all rubbish, and how she is "special". And even if she did run a mile from him, who's to say he won't do the same with other women? Who's to say he isn't right now? He doesn't sound like a one-woman type of guy to me.
Maybe you need to tell YOURSELF what a jerk he is. You don't want to lose him, and I understand that fear. But I honestly think you deserve much better than this! He doesn't sound very loyal, and I think if you stay with him, he will most likely see other women during the duration of the relationship. Is that what you want?
If you can handle that, then just be careful and be safe. But if you think you deserve more than this, then instead of confronting this girl, first confront yourself. Tell yourself the truth, tell yourself what you would tell this girl. Then go and confront him, and say you have realised you don't want someone who will cheat. And walk away with your pride. Then get to work on learning to like, care for and value yourself! Expect nothing less from any guy.
It is your choice. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you luck and hope it works out well. x
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