A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I began talking to him in August. as the months passed, we grew closer until he asked me to be his gf in December. Since we live in different states, he flew me out to spend a week with him. it turned out great. I got to know him, and I fell for him more. there were a few times when things felt a little difficult, but as soon as we discuss it, that was fixed. it turns out he and I are a little too alike. on the day I left, we had the worst, coldest goodbye. it left me feeling very sad. I texted him and expressed my feelings and he said it was because he wasn't good at goodbye.. flash forward a few hours, I land and get on Facebook. I see that he's removed his relationship status. I immediately tell him "you could've informed me that you wanted to end it." he doesn't seem to know what I'm talking about and expresses that he doesn't want anything to end. I didn't mention the Facebook status at all.my first day home, I'm miserable because 1.) I miss him. 2.) I'm bothered by the Facebook thing. 3.) he hasn't contacted me at all yet he's posting all the time. I finally talk to him and he responds, but I still have these unresolved feelings eating away at me. I feel heartbroken and he's technically still my bf. I wake up this morning and I immediately start crying because I still feel the same. I regret even visiting him at all because since then, he's changed. when I say he feels distant, he responds with how he loves me and only notices how I seem distant. I really want to talk to him about it, but I fear I will come off as needy. do I have valid complaints?
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male
reader, DragonMan  +, writes (29 January 2014):
 Greetings,
Such an interesting but common thread for relationships is the long distance one.
Many have experienced it and very few have a happy ending to them.
However I must disagree with my learned colleague 'YouWish' such actions are probably caused by the distance. After all you started off as pictures and words on a screen. He got to see you and you were both happy and to have to going back to words on a screen is painful. Don't pressure him, don't cause yourself that pain, just pass on little reminders, like messages every week or so.
Eventually the truth of the matter will come out that either he misses you and will message you or he isn't wanting a long distance relationship and will continue to ignore you
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (29 January 2014):
 I wish this was more complicated, but unfortunately, it plays out so much on here that it's not hard to see what's happened.
You met him online and just visited him for a week, right? Well, the whole entire elaborate pseudo "love-affair", while seemingly real in your eyes, was actually a ruse intended to get you with him for a week, he sleeps with you most likely more than once, and now the chase is over and he is no longer interested. All the lovey-dovey words he said, all the drama were the tools intended to get you in his bed and his getting laid.
You never were his boyfriend. All those words said were ploys and fantasy. You carried on online only to find out that reality is a lot different.
It's best to end it, block him, stop being in denial as to the state of your non-relationship, and move on hopefully learning never to carry on long-distance online fantasy relationships ever again.
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