A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello to all,I have a problem and I could need some advice. Can't talk with anyone around me about this problem....Eight months ago I added an old classmate on Facebook.We started chatting on Facebook. She is in a relationship (7 years). We met in real life and fell in love. We met regularly, kisses, talked, had sex and so on.But.... she is still in this relationship. She says she loves me and she wants to carry on with me. But she hasn't left her boyfriend yet. Even when her boyfriend discovered about us, she didn't leave him.The situation really drives me crazy. I really love her and she says she loves me. I tried to break up with her several times, but everytime she contacts me and it goes on and on. She says she is afraid for what her family will think when she breaks up and that she will lose her friends.I don't know what to do....I am totally crazy about her but I don't want this situation any longer....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2014): Your problem is that you went after a woman already committed who admired your attention and had no qualms in deceiving her partner. You put her on a pedestal and she stayed there awaiting your praises. It doesn't look like she's going to cede command, esp. as she doesn't mind using people. She's no prize in my book.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (30 January 2014):
 If you ca't put your foot down and insist that she leaves her boyfriend then you'll just have to get used to dangling on that string she has on her little finger. Tell her to piss or get off the pot or dangle away Buddy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2014): Thanks for your help.... Yes, she knows that I love her, because I tell her all the time!I don't understand her fear for leaving her boyfriend. I mean, what is the worst that can happen.... We would be the talk of the town for about a week and then everybody will move on.As I already said, I broke up with her several times. But everytime she is the one coming back and contacting me.And I love her so much that I am not strong enough to reject her :-(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2014): Is she aware of your feelings for her? You did say that shes admitted her love for you but does she REALLY know that you feel the same way. She sounds like shes in limbo because she's unsure of your feelings or she wants her cake and ice cream. If she knows how you feel and stays with her boyfriend than walk away and never look back and never again pursue attached women but if she doesn't than tell her how you feel. Afterwards you'll know what to do. Best wishes
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A
female
reader, happypeople +, writes (29 January 2014):
Have you told this woman about your feelings toward her? If so and she is unwilling to end the relationship with her long term boyfriend than you have no choice but to move on. You cant stop or hinder your life by waiting. You made mention that she told you that she loved you but does she REALLY know that you love her too?? If she does and she's still not willing to make a choice than walk away and forget her. Best wishes
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2014): I see you're from Germany --- are you familiar with the English phrase "she wants to have her cake and eat it"?
Look at what you've said:
"she is still in this relationship. She says she loves me and she wants to carry on with me. But she hasn't left her boyfriend yet. Even when her boyfriend discovered about us, she didn't leave him."
It's amazing to me that *he* didn't leave *her*! Does he know that you're still carrying on? You could end up getting beaten up by him, if you're not careful.
I hate to point out the obvious, but just because someone *says* something, it doesn't mean they're telling the truth. She might *say* she loves you, but do her actions bear that out? Looks to me like you are her "bit on the side" (another good English phrase). If she loved you then she'd care about your feelings, but she's happy to dangle you on a string, as she's more concerned about what others will think if she leaves her bf (or so she says). Hate to break it to you, but that ain't love...
And you admit she's driving you mad -- walk away while you still have your sanity!
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