A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 4 years has been acting so strange lately. He has been very mean, constantly telling me that he doesn't want to talk to me on the phone and that he will call me later. He never calls. It is the same way with seeing him too. He basically wants to see me when he feels like it. I have been trying to convince him that maybe we should take a break and see if we truly are meant for eachother. He insists that he doesn't want to take a break and wants to work on things. Yet when the time comes, he doens't work on things. For example, we have never had the type of relationship where we go out alone with our friends. We were always with eachother. He wanted to go out the other night with his friend and though it was hard for me, i forgot about my feelings and let him go. I suddenly heard the door slam and he was gone. I was in the room right next door to him and he didn't even come and say goodbye to me, he didn't even give me a kiss goodbye, nothing. I was upset and called him and he said "ok...bye" I just don't understand and don't know what to do. He just seems so angry all the time now and now he curses at me.. If he told me he wanted a break, i would understand the way he has been changing. But he says no to the break... i don't get it. Please help. Hopefully I can get some boys point of views.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): Don't put up with it, if you have no respect for yourself and put up with that how do you expect him to respect you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Please dump this guy before he ruins your life... believe me - it's not worth hoping he'll change. Don't end up like me... 37 years old, married for 17, two young children... and trying to make the break now. We have no friends, we don't go out, he picks and chooses when to talk to me, and yet expects tea on the table, shirts ironed... and to keep the peace I've done it all. I don't feel like I've got a life at all... and reading your post it's deja vu... that's my husband of 18 years ago..!Get out while you can! Best wishes for happiness.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 What is there to get? If you really want the relationship to be finished, then it is up to YOU to end it.
I totally agree with TaylorChu. Furthermore, I would add that you and your boyfriend have this disturbing dynamic of co-dependence. His actions are inappropriate and belie a lack of respect for you. Are you going to continue to enable his disrespect by begging him to let you go?
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A
female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (21 July 2007):
 No, do not listen to the other female poster. You tell him what you are going to do and let your boyfriend deal. TELL HIM CLEARLY so there is no misunderstanding from where you are coming from or what you will be doing. I say that you not only take a break but you break up with him. You always be clear in what you want with this or any other boyfriend. Just because he says no doesn't mean it is the final answer because he isnt your husband. He has no bounds on you. You are a fully grown woman and are not his child for you to be obeying him like that. Tell him that you gave him more than enough chances to change, that was it. You are gone and you go your way. Find someone who loves you and doesn't just put up with you. Dont waste your life and years on someone who just tolerates you or takes you for granted. You live the good life not a life of a toy~ just there for entertainment and tossed in the corner when your usefulness is no longer needed. People like that do not deserve a precious jewel like you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): YOU TAKE THE BREAK! And you don't have to tell him about it. Just be vague. I bet this will turn the tables quick.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2007): Its clear that he's taking u 4 granted honey,he knows he has a hold on u and dats y he treats u this way cz he knows no matter what, u will not leave him..dont let him take ur love 4 granted,save it 4 sum1 who will love u the same way u do.....i feel ts better u let go now rather than later..
good luck
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 July 2007):
 The fact that he doesn't respect you in the least says it all: he doesn't love you anymore. He is leading the relationship the way he pleases and he's mistreating you. And then, I find it awful that HE decides you should not take a break. This isn't for him to decide.
You are free to take a break if you want. The break means you don't really feel so comfortable with him, and you want to have the option of leaving him. I say, leave him now. You'll find someone who will love you and, therefore, respect you.
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