A
male
age
41-50,
*irginGuy81
writes:Hello People,This is my first time in here and in any website of the like. I came across your website when researching and I found it nice and friendly so here I am.I am a 28 year old virgin male. It is weird I know but well I like to have sex with my wife only. I also am a bit of the shy type. No geeky or anything of the such. Anyway I wanted to know in general if girls are of 3 types: girls who love sex and girls who hate it and girls who don't mind it. The idea of marrying a girl who turn out to not like sex is haunting me since I have a pretty big appetite for sex. So is it a standard thing that if a girl loves a guy she will like sex with him assuming offcourse that he likes pleasing her (not talking about selfish sex acts)Thanks for your answers in advance
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female
reader, firefalldown27  +, writes (10 January 2010):
Ok, first of all WOW. All you guys whining about no virgin girls... I'm 25 and I'm a female virgin. On purpose. Quite a few of my girl friends are also virgins in their mid to upper 20s. On purpose. So don't give up if you're still waiting. You may not be looking in the right circles.
To answer the question, I can't tell you if there are three types, but I'm pretty sure I will love it. I get pretty horny. One of my girlfriends was afraid she wouldn't like sex, but then she had a boyfriend, and although they didn't go all the way she got really turned on and really wanted to.
This is the kind of answer you will get from a virgin.
But I think the best you can do is find someone who is willing and eager to try, and someone who doesn't have a withholding personality. I know I personally don't plan on withholding sex from my husband even if I'm not "in the mood". Hopefully it doesn't end up with me being the hornier one. It goes the other way, you know.
Another one of my friends had a boyfriend and he only had sex with her once every 2 weeks. This ended the relationship.
I worry about this. But if I marry another virgin hopefully he will want to make up for lost time, so to speak, when we get married.
A
female
reader, mopsy  +, writes (16 August 2009):
As a woman who waited until her mid twenties and married to lose my virginity, I would have loved to have met one of you men who also waited! I thought that it was a wise choice at that time, but looking back I am disappointed as my husband had several partners before me so I feel that I was cheated out of something. I had alot of opportunities as a teen and was considered very beautiful but I was a deep thinking girl who really wanted to make the right choices in life. Sadly, I don't know if I would have made that decision again. I never met a man who was a virgin as well. I wish I could have.... Kudos to you men!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): Total heart-break. Fellas, I'm so freaking sorry to hear how alone you feel. I can promise you all that wanted and some that still do desire virgins, it is a GOOD sign!! That's something God has written into your heart. There is a reason you desire it, it is something we are all supposed to hold as high value. After all, it's the ultimate example of his love for us. Sex protected in marriage, with two people who can share something that only the two of them will ever have with each other is what it's ALL about. You're not crazy, weird, or alone in feeling this gentlemen! You are the work of God, wild at heart! He wants so much for you, and if you make the decision to walk in a relationship with him, becoming the person he wants you to be in this life, he will place the one for you there. He will wait for you to turn to him. The reasons you feel so un-fulfilled with pre-marital sex and comparing yourself's to others are PRIME examples of why he warns us against sexual temptations. He knows the ugly side of it, the regret, the loss of yourself, that you can never get back. I can promise each and every one of you, he doesn't want you to hurt like you do.
Turn to him, ask him to walk with you down the dark, painful path of healing all the wounds and connections you formed with other souls through sex. I promise it can and has been done. It's the best step to healing and living a new life in which you are a whole, complete man who derives his strength from his Father in heaven.
Brothers, only God will be able to heal you. No woman or man on Earth can. The best love I can give you all is giving you to God, and telling you he's patiently waiting to mend your lives, and re-direct your hearts!
Be blessed!!
aSh
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A
male
reader, passionatelynumb +, writes (6 October 2008):
 Blackberry008 are you serious? Both men and women get married because they want to settle down and start a family. Liking sex has very little to do with it.
I know plenty of women that got married to just to start a family. They may have acted like they enjoyed sex before the wedding but after the vows were said, they had sex just to get pregnant. After they had the number of children they wanted, they cut their husbands off from sex all together.
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A
female
reader, blackberry008 +, writes (30 September 2008):
 A girl marries because she likes to have sex. So, if you have a girlfriend and she do not like sex then she might at all not marry you. Like my aunt. She does not like sex, and that is the reason she left her boyfriend and never had a boyfriend again. She is now a 70 year old virgin.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 September 2008):
 My opinion on this matter goes very much against what you need or asked help for, poster. However, I hope it helps you.
The answers you have received underline the importance of a good relationship with your woman, so that she will want to be with you, and also make it clear that there's an element of uncertainty here that you can't change. That is to say, even if you treat your woman the best way she can imagine, she won't necessarily want sex as often as you will. I don't mean that she will want it less frequently; she might want it more frequently, too, but that's a different thing.
You think of this problem as a woman always wanting sex less frequently than you do. That might not be the case.
However, let me say the obvious: if you want a lasting relationship, one that will be based on the fact that each party has had a thorough experience of the other, you would do well if you had sex before marriage.
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A
male
reader, VirginGuy81 +, writes (19 September 2008):
VirginGuy81 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the replies. We are drifting a bit from the main question though don't you think??
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): Well my story is kind of the same thing. I stayed celibate because I wanted a virgin wife and I though it was my duty to do the same thing for her. It was never hard finding some girl to sleep with. I just wanted to stay a virgin. I am not religious and I don't want to be religious either.
I did not even admit that I cared about it by the time I was 23 or 24. Every time I told anyone that I wanted a virgin GF they told me I was being a jerk or a preacher. I just didn't have girfriends very much at all. I went on a few dates but I always broke it off early. I was never comfortable how to handle the sex thing.
Some of my guy friends even said they would not date a virgin themself because they wanted sex quick, isn't this discriminating against a girl for her sex life too? I have had girls say they wouldn't want to date me because of it too. But all this is okay with everybody, it is just not okay want a girl who has been celibate as much as me.
Even the ones that knew I was a virgin too. Those people still said I had no right to care about my GF's sexual life before me.
I gave up when I was 29 and had sex with a girl. Even the girls that were trying to stay virgins to married have all slept with 4 or 5 guys by now. I have not even met another virgin in years.
So now I'm just way behind everyone I ever date. They have all had a 15 partners already. I've had 3 now. I don't want 1 night stands so my number is high, I really miss having sex in relationships that I missed out on. I can't have that back.
I still wish I could have just stayed celibate and married a virgin girl. I hate it this way. I hate everything about this. I hate my past and I hate girls pasts. I hate my present and I hate my choice of future with most of them. But its not like there are personals I could be looking in for "virgin wanted". Even the big time christain girls are all having sex at my age. It sucks but what can you do? People didn't even think I was right for wanting to marry a virgin girl when I was still a virgin in the first place. So there is no way I could ever say I want one now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2008): Anon poster: Care to elaborate?
I also stayed a virgin into my mid-twenties waiting for the right girl.
Turns out no one was waiting for me.
Now I'm getting married to a girl whos tried a lot of guys on for size.
She's only my second.
I wish so desparately I could have sewn my wild oats just to feel less hurt by her past.
I always felt by waiting, I'd have something special to give my future wife.
Now I feel like a Mid-life crisis waiting to happen.
:(
What's your story?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): I stayed a virgin until my late 20s. I really wanted a virgin spouse, and I though it was my duty to hold up my end of the bargain.
This was the worst mistake of my life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): At 28, most males do have a big appetite for sex. And the same can be said about a lot of females. If and when you meet that special girl, there truely is no guaruntees, that you will get a female with a high sexual libido, like yourself. It's a chance you will take. And of course while physical intimacy is important, there is so much more to a loving, caring relationship, as you well know.If you are looking for a female, who has a high libido, then you will have to take note of some important factors. In a good long term relationship, one's sexual desire encompasses so much more than just being 'horny all the time'. There are huge interpersonal, emotional and psychological factors that will create a willingness in your lady, to be as sexual, as you are. How you treat her, how you respect and love her, will be what matters the most. A woman can have a high sex drive, but if she's angry or feeling hurt by you...she's simply not going to want to be sexual with you. So that is very important. How you treat her outside of the bedroom will be crucial, as well. So we know now, the lack of her emotional satisfaction could create the big sexual divide, in a love relationship. And, there is a lot of other different factors that can affect a women's sexual libido and you should take note: partner's performance, little or no emotional support or input, initally after the birth of children and the tiredness from rearing children will hinder her sex drive, a bit, if there is job stress, if there is depression, if there is physical medical conditions (eg: endometriosis, fibroids, etc), if she has low testosterone levels (which decline in femals after the mid 20's). So many factors can and will affect a woman's libido. It's the luck of the draw, dear. Although you feel physical intimacy is very important, females tend to think the emotional intimacy is just as critically important. If you can put in the big efforts and be supportive, loving and other-involved with her...you likely will have a woman who is hot for you and can't wait to get you in that bedroom. Good luck and I wish you the best in finding that special girl. Take care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): First of all, I think waiting for marraige is noble thing to strive for. As you know, it takes a great deal of self-control, self-confidence, and faith to wait for your future wife. If she has waited for you, it will mean a great deal to the both of you.
I waited a long time before I gave up my virginity so I completely understand what you are going through.
From my experience, you have a very valid question. I have been in long term relationships with each type of girl, and I have to say it is very important to find someone who's libido matches your own.
I have typically found that girls who as you say "Don't mind sex" eventually get bored and end up disliking it later after a few months with you. Those you have to watch out for. Because as time goes on, they'll be less and less eager to have it until you find yourself in a sexless marraige.
Finding a girl who loves sex and enjoys getting off as much as you do to me is very very important for a long lasting relationship.
Otherwise, you'll go through the rest of your life walking on eggshells around her hoping and praying that if you do everything right during the day, you might, just maybe get to have sex with her that night. That is a horrible way to live.
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