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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been married for 18 years and have 6 children, I want us to seperate because I dont fancy him anymore. He is very hurt and I feel so guilty and confused and I feel I am abandoning him. We have tried to seperate twice before and I changed my mind because I felt I was the worst in the world for turning my back on the relationship. I am at my wits end what should I do. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, jack23 +, writes (15 November 2006):
 Firstly, I think its obvious that if you can make it work then you should. Try and find out what has worked for the past 18 years and what hasnt worked?? What has changed that has caused you to lose interested in your husband and what originally drove you to want to marry him. I think from there it would be obvious to try and stimulate your older feelings in an attempt to bring you back together.
Maybe some time away from the kids would be a good idea, try to spend some quality time with each other to rediscover those lost emotions. You will need to want to do this, if you dont have the feeling that you want to make it work then you are likely to subconciously ruin all efforts.
If its at the point where there is no possibility of sorting things then you should sit down with each other and have a long conversation about it, preferably with no distractions. The longer it is left the worse it will get, try to arrange things so that the children are mostly considered to avoid them getting caught in the middle.
Good luck :)
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