A
female
age
36-40,
*har125
writes:I don't no wat to do! im really in love with my boyfriend and I want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I can not trust him. we been together for 4 and some years andd we had our ups and downs and stayed with him at those times. but now I think I have to let him go. I find some naked picture of other girls that he talk to on the chat line in his phone and I find out that he been sends naked pictures of his self to them. but the funny thing that's crazy is that he took them out his phone so I can not find them and saved them in a old phone that don't work and he also had they #s saved too. he tell me thatg they not nothing they were not gonna do anythink, but I don't think that I can believe that! I don't no wat to do! wat do you think about it?
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female
reader, shar125 +, writes (21 January 2010):
shar125 is verified as being by the original poster of the question he's ollder then me, he's 25
A
female
reader, Jinx  +, writes (21 January 2010):
 I would honestly say that you are lucky that you have seen this now. This is definitely a HUGE warning sign!
You have been together for a long time, but you are still young enough to move on and find love elsewhere. And you will.
There's a very annoyingly common saying that goes: 'a leopard never changes it's spots.' Now don't get me wrong, I do think that people can make a conscious decision to better themselves, but sometimes when the person is unwilling to change, they won't. Not for you, not for anyone.
I am assuming (from looking at your age) that your boyfriend is maybe in his early 20's. Unfortunately, a lot of guys of this age do this sort of thing. I am not generalising, I know there are a lot of decent, young guys out there and if you find a guy like this, then that is someone you seriously need to hold onto.
The fact that your boyfriend lied to you about the photo's is a problem. You definitely need to talk to him about it, and do not let him off the hook when he tells you that the other girls don't mean anything. He is cheating on you, maybe not physically, but it is still a form of cheating. He needs to own up to you about it.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (21 January 2010):
 This is a warning sign. Committed boyfriends don't hide things like this or do that kind of thing. I appreciate he is hiding them so he doesn't get caught or you don't get hurt or both! but it is not acceptable behaviour. As Gina says it is disrespectful. How would he like you having naked men on your phone.
I don't think at this stage he is cheating but doing this kind of thing whether for a bit of fun or not breaks the trust. I don't know if I would finish with him over this but I would want to talk it through why he has this need and get reassurances that it will stop and that he won't do it again. Be calm when you talk to him and listen to what he says, try not to fly off the handle and rationally explain why you don't like it and why it is wrong. If he says that he won't do it again resist the urge to check up on him. If it comes to light that he is still doing this kind of thing then I would let him go as he clearly is not trustworthy material and doesn't care enough about your feelings.
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A
female
reader, shar125 +, writes (21 January 2010):
shar125 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you
he keep tryin o tell me that he want to be with me but I just can not trust him. he mean a lot to me but I just don't no wat to do! when I asked why is he doin these things like on the chat line, he tells me that he only do it when he is bord at work, I don't think that I can ever trust him again
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (21 January 2010):
To be honest, this is a big red flag. This is a sign that he's not really committed to you. Watching porn is one thing, but receiving and sending pictures of yourself and another woman is a different thing. Too many people settle for others who aren't good enough, then wonder why it goes wrong later in life. This guy just isn't good enough if he's treating you this way. Never be second best.
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