A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Around a year ago I finally married my first love of six years. We have started dating very young, well at least I was (I was 14) and he was a few years older then me.Through out these years, I’ve went through so much drama its crazy.I am a Christian, therefore having sex before marriage is a big sin. Anyways, after a few years nobody knew, we got caught. So he finally decided he was ready for marriage. But when he was proposing, he wanted to have an honest marriage, so he confessed that he sleeps with more than a few other girls and messed around with a lot more. I was shocked! I wanted to die...anyways, since I didn't really have a choice and it all happened so fast (got married in 3 months) I didn't think it through, didn't have time to vent my hurt. After a few months of marriage, I was still hurt and I often questioned him about it, asking for more details.He started spending more time with friends and I started partying and drinking. On a few of these parties, I messed around with two guys and slept with one (I was totally wasted) and it meant nothing to me.He finds me crying one day and I was so devastated about cheating, although he hurt me extremely, I never wanted to break my vows.He says he hates me and that I disgust him and that he wants a divorcé and that he'll start fucking someone else.After all the shit he put me through and treating me badly, even before I screwed up. I still love him and really want to save my marriage. He says that he hates and loves me...I'm trying everything I possibly can, he comes home pissed off cussing and I greet him with a smile and do everything he asks for. I also started going to church again and trying to be a good Christian. How can I make him understand that I love only him and really need him to try to save this marriage too?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): I think he knows he hurt you before but maybe he told you cause wanted to start a new, and you exepted it meany you promise to never do wrong.
You hurt someone that truly wanted you to trust them but how can they trust you.
personly I would have devorced you for having another mans penis in you, suprised hes still with you that means he wants it to work too hes just confused and lonely show him hes the one and only by doing what you do.
A
female
reader, 14Luv +, writes (29 October 2008):
 I have been that route and this is what I learned...You cannot save a marriage all by yourself. Marriage is a covenant between your husband, God, and yourself. If you have asked both God and your husband for forgiveness and you are truly sorry you need to forgive yourself and move forward. Try marriage counseling if your spouse is willing. Your minister, if you choose not to use him, may be able to offer some resources. Until your husband is willing as you are pray that God will intervene in your marriage. More importantly...be willing to accept the answer you get.
I will pray for you as well.
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